Tales of Evie-lution in Hong Kong

Ich bin ein Londoner

2009-07-22T03:10:00.004+08:00

Here I am, standing outside the big office block in the historical City of London. Men in pin stripe suits and women in smart skirts whizz by me. I am just a small rat in the middle of the race. I am also the only spot of colour, wearing a red coat, but surrounded by a sea of grey.

Deep breath, in we go. I meet the HR lady, get given my badge, am shown to my desk. And the next three weeks go by in a blur.

I am hating it. I am hating getting up early, going through manic days that resemble each other and that leave me totally exhausted. I am hating the fact I barely seem to do anything else than work, sleep and eat during the work week. I am hating public transport. By local standards I live "close" to work, but gosh I miss my 10 minute ride to work on the escalator in HK. I miss my mad HK friends, my flat, even my gym (wtf?). I am hating the weather, despite a couple of weeks of tropical heat we are now back on rainy, cold miserable mode, and it's only July.

But, also:

I am loving it. I am loving reconnecting with work life and London. Strutting about in posh work clothes a cappuccino in one hand, a sandwich in the other. I love making my brain work again. I love planning all these catch up sessions with friends I have not seen for ages, sometimes even a couple of years. And most of all, I love the fact I spend my week ends with a sexy, witty, adorable and adoring British man.

So the emotions are a mixture of extremes, with a lot of love/hate going on. But the dust is settling, and so am I, finding my little space in this big big city.

Countdown

2009-06-22T16:57:00.004+08:00

2 years - That is how long ago I started this blog. I was in a dark confused state at the time, and just needed to let it all out. Blogging made a world of a difference, it forced me to analyse my feelings, as well as take a bit of mental distance form my life in order to be able to write about it.

23 months - 23 months ago I left Europe for Hong Kong. It was one of the hardest yet most exciting moves in my life. Hard because I was freshly broken hearted from my separation from Le Poulet (and moving in to the same city as him). I was starting a new job I felt was too challenging for me, working with a team that I felt (rightly so) was a bit dysfunctional. But at the same time I was excited, as I was taking 6 weeks off to travel Asia before starting the job. And my whole body and soul had been craving that kind of experience for years.

3 months - The time it took me to feel at home in Hong Kong. By then I had met C, was about to met Lucy, and things just felt good. I loved my flat, my city, my life. I was home.

6 weeks - Six weeks ago I gave back the keys of my flat to my landlady, and since have been living like a nomad, staying with friends or traveling.

1 week - The length of time I have been in London, my new home. In a few days I will move into my new flat and start my new job, a new life begins.

I {heart} Hong Kong landladies

2009-05-12T00:37:00.002+08:00

This week I have given my up my HK pad back to the landlady. Mostly because it was horrendously expensive, and now that I don't have the Kind People in the Firm paying for it, there is no way I can afford it.
I've had good times in that flat:
- I arrived there with 2 suitcases and a handful of cardboard boxes from London (mostly full of shoes)
- I left with something that felt like 57 suitcases and 35 boxes (mostly full of shoes)
- For the first 10 months I had no curtains and every single night and every morning, when I took in the HK skyline, a little voice inside me said "Waouhhh"
- The flat saw some good parties: my housewarming when I moved in, C's wild birthday bash, and a few dinner parties (with culinary disasters that were saved thanks to the Chicken shop downstairs).
- My bed saw a small number of visitors (ok like two) but I will remember those experiences with a chuckle
- The only bad memory will be that one night of insomnia following me losing my job. It was one hard night but the next morning I woke up with a big smile on my face and a huge sense of relief and freedom.

I spent the past few days cleaning my flat like a maniac, waking up at dawn to scrub and everything. Maybe it's the trauma of renting places in Europe where the landlords turn up at the end of the lease and point at every single stain saying :"Ok that is minus x euros on your deposit", I really wanted the place to be spotless.

So today I met the landlady for the first time (the initial contract was handled by the agent) and the conversation went like this:
- Landlady: "Hello Evie, I am your landlady. Nice to meet you"
- Evie: "Oh hiiiiiiii [nervous laugh]. Please take a look around, the flat is all yours again, I've spent a loooot of time making it nice and clean for you"
- Landlady: "Oh WOW, I have never seen such a clean flat"
- E" You don't want to have a look around?
- L: "Oh nono, I am sure you took a very good care of it. Here is your deposit cheque"
- E: "Really? But have you seen these furniture stains here?" (D'oh, who says that to their landlady?"
- L: "yeah yeah whatver, it's still so clean!"
- E: "Oh. Um. Ok"
- L" Woooow, you look soooooo gorgeous*".
- E: "???"

* I don't think I have gorgeous looks by any stretch of the imagination, I think my landlady just had all other previous tenants that were trolls"

Grandma, what big teeth you have

2009-04-30T08:57:00.007+08:00

A few days ago Lucy and I went to explore China, and more precisely the city of Zhuhai which is a short boat trip away from Hong Kong, and a stone's throw from Macao (litterally). The city is actually extremely pleasant, with a nice landscaped layout, streetside terraced restaurants, and wonderful hotsprings.
After many hours, of relaxing, erm I mean intense tourism, we went for a massage.

My masseuse was a young girl whom I guess had not had a European customer before and so the following conversation took place:

- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what white skin you have" (Despite my attempts to sit in the sun when I can, my skin refuses to tan at all. And in China white skin is considered refined, so this was a compliment).
- Evie: "Thank you!"

...

- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what light eyes you have". (I have blue eyes, I took this as a compliment".
- Evie: "Thank you!"

...

- Masseuse: "Woooooh, miss, what big legs you have".
- Evie: *choke*

A story

2009-04-19T22:38:00.008+08:00

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a girl. She was finishing university and thinking about the future. She had a boyfriend called The Sensible One. She liked him. In reality she did not love him, but she did not realise that at the time. One day The Sensible One asked if she would like to get engaged and she said yes. She could have easily committed to staying her life with him, which would have been a bad idea, but she did not realise that at the time.

But then the great Fate machine intervened.

A few months later, she got a phone call out of the blue, offering a job in another country. And suddenly, that opened her eyes. It made her take a long hard look into her heart, and she realised she did not love The Sensible One. So she took the new job in the new country, alone.

She loved her new life. The new country was exciting, she made some great friendships, loved her job, and enjoyed being single. One day, she met The Chicken One. She thought he was perfect, but he was not. She could have easily stayed many many years with him which would have been a mistake, but she did not realise that at the time.

But then the great Fate machine intervened.

Just as she was thinking she had found a natural soul mate with The Chicken One, something changed. He got an opportunity to move to Asia. They decided to move together, given she also had the possibility of continuing her career from there. Just as they were about to move, they had some serious discussions they had never had in all their years together. And she realised that her expectations were in total mismatch with his. She saw at last that staying with him was fun in the short term, but eventually would just be a neverending source of disappointment and tears. So she took the decision to leave him (but to nevertheless move to Asia).

It was the hardest decision she had ever taken. But slowly, she pulled through, picked her heart off the floor, and focused on discovering Asia, a source of excitement, adventures, fun. She loved it. She thought she had found her real home, which was not fully correct, but she did not realise that at the time.

But then the great Fate machine intervened.

One day, she lost her job. She was forced to do a lot of soul searching. She realised even though she deeply loved Asia, there were things in her life that were missing, both personal and professional. So she applied for the Perfect Job in Utopia. While waiting to hear back about the Perfect Job application, she started to get rather close with her friend The Atomic One, and realised she really really really liked him, and that she would have liked to give things a go with him. But he lived in Europe, and she was trying to move to Utopia, so how could things work out?

But then the great Fate machine intervened.

One day, the people from the Perfect Job called her and told her they could not give her the job in Utopia. But that they had another one for her in Europe. In the same city where lived The Atomic One.

...

HNT time - Evie goes Half-Nekkid

2009-04-16T09:39:00.004+08:00

Proudly presenting, after hours of fumbling in the bathroom, my very first HNT! (Half Nekkid Thursday).

Time for TMI Tuesday again

2009-04-14T15:51:00.002+08:00

This week is a dance edition:

1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be?
A very custom sort of funny finger dance, interlaced with moments of pure groove and sexy swaying, but then back to the silly finger dance that makes people laugh

2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance?
At the moment, I think Tango: it's all about passion, power, playfulness.

3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on?
I rarely get turned on by guys making moves on dancefloors, usually they suck at it, sorry guys.. Except maybe Michael Jackson doing that crotch-grabbing move, hmm

4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!)
There is one particular person back in Europe who has the capacity to make my heart dance, definitely would like to be with him right now (Gosh, was that a cheesy enough answer??)

5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new?
It would have to be something comical to make them laugh, maybe a chicken dance.

Man, I feel like a woman

2009-04-13T14:24:00.007+08:00

To celebrate my new found freedom from the boring world of work, I have decided to treat myself.

Not having a stable income for the foreseeable future, it's probably not the right time to buy this:

But I did!

I have never spent so much money on shoes (or even clothes or bags), I have always been cautious and a bit cheap in my approach to shopping. Blame it on me reaching the ripe old age of thirty, but I feel a girl needs to have at least one pair of horrendously expensive designer shoes in her closet, and Christian Louboutin is a perfect way to indulge.

Like Shania Twain used to say: "Man, I feel like a woman"!

To slob or not to slob, that is the question

2009-04-06T19:10:00.003+08:00

I have landed back in reality from my cloud of aTomic bliss, and am spending a lot of time focusing on the Here and Now. Well, half of my brain is available for thinking, the other half is still drifting in space a bit.
In the next 2-3 weeks, my future plans will be better known, by then I will have more clarity around where I will be and what I will be doing. The problem is, that while I wait for this Master Plan from Fate to unfold, I am not doing much with my days.
And this is when I get these panic attacks. I picture myself, in a dirty flat, with empty beer bottles and pizza delivery boxes all over the floor, (despite the fact I never drink beer at home and have never ordered pizza), me having turned into an obese slob with the same looks as Chabal. So this sends electric jolts down my spine pushing me to go to the gym on a daily basis in order to use my free time in a useful way, ie building myself the body of a goddess.

Hold on a minute, why is it that these past few posts have all been focused on looks?

Maybe it's time to get a bit more intellectual; am actually preparing an analysis on the latest art house move I saw, it's called "He's just not that into you"..

Floating through space and time

2009-04-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

- Evie?
- ...
- Evie!
- Hmmm. Huh? What?
- Earth calling Evie, can you please come down from your cloud? What are you thinking about?

What I am thinking about? His fingers, his smile, his feet, his voice, his eyes, his ears, his hair, his body, his jokes, his thoughts. Him. Him. Him.

I really wish he had turned out to be a male chauvinistic pig instead.

Trying to keep a cool head and take it easy. Trying. Trying. Trying.

Bikini fear and other panics

2009-03-18T10:35:00.004+08:00

So in a few days' time I will be hopping on a plane to meet the yummy Tom in an exotic part of the world. Half of me is extremely excited, not only are we going to what looks like a luxurious and wonderful resort, but on top of that having a funny, interesting, good-looking man all to myself for a week is more than I could have asked for! But on the other side, I am totally panicked. What if we hate each other? What if it's ackward?

And more importantly, despite the fact we know each other quite well, does he realise that in a bikini I will look terrifying, with a sort of Kate Moss-type flat chest at the top, but a Beyonce bottom half?

A-Tom-ized

2009-03-14T23:21:00.006+08:00

Yes its been a while. In part because I was busy traveling in Europe. And in part because I knew that writing here would require me to take a closer and honest view at my feelings in order to put them down in paper/blog.

The two weeks of vacation went by in a blur. I saw my family, I saw my friends. I went to a funeral (first person of my generation to pass away, so very tough and sad), and I attended a wedding (as a fantastic witness, I did a brilliant job of holding the pen to sign the registry while looking uber glamourous).

I also got up to a bit of mischief.. A long long time I wrote on this blog about my friend Tom. He is a friend from Europe I've known for a while with whom I used to have long, boozy and meaningful conversations about life. Well, in my few days in London in my trip, I managed to sort of seduce him. Which in a way is silly planning given I am toying with the idea of taking a year-long sabbatical to travel the world. A boyfriend in London does NOT fit with that plan. It was a spur of the moment thing, but we spent an amazing 24 hours together. I emerged from my time with him a bit dazzled, seduced, destablized.. It was not planned, but I really enjoyed the time with him.. We agreed to spend a week together in a paradise island and so next week end I fly off to to meet him in a luxurious resort. We will see what this time together ends up being like.

I am working away like mad at the gym to try to minimise my flabby bits in order to be a true goddess in 8 days' time. Though secretely I am also hoping for our time together to be rubbish, for him to be totally turned off by my fat bits, for me to realise he is a selfish mysogynistic pig, so that I won't have to make hard decisions about what to do about being infatuated with a man in Europe while still wanting to travel the world... Only time will tell..

In the meatime we are exchanging emails and naughty (oh so naughty) texts, I really can't wait for that week together to start.

Is fate having a laugh at my expense??

Revelations

2009-02-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

The combined effect of 1) losing my job and 2) leaving HK (only on a short vacation!) in the past couple of weeks has made me realise that:
- I was not happy in my job, the stress had been too much in the past few months, and not having to go there anymore feels like a huge relief
- As a matter of fact I am not quite ready to start looking for a new job, I want to go on a grand vacation, like we did when we were kids, taking a break of several months (or even maybe a year?)
- I am addicted to Hong Kong. Every time I leave it I feel a bit down, as if I was a Duracell Rabbit that got its Duracell batteries replaced with another cheap, weak brand. When I land there again I feel alive again.
- The only thing that would make me leave is an incredible job prospect somewhere else in the world, but if possible somewhere exciting and new.
- I am lucky to be at such a cross roads of my life with many options lying there in front of me, and even more lucky to be facing it without having a mortgage, kids, or a partner, because I can make some very selfish decisions in the months to come.

Time out

2009-02-22T18:22:00.004+08:00

NeepNeep: "You look so sad"

Evie: "Yeah, I am so not looking forward to this trip in Europe: it's going to be cold, it's going to be a marathon of running around like a headless chicken visiting family and friends scattered accross various places. And lastly, I am dreading this wedding thing where I am going to stand out like a sore thumb being the Single One, Arrrrgggghhhh"

NN: "You are silly because you will enjoy seeing all these people, and you will be a great witness in this wedding"

E: "Yes I have started to practice, holding the pen at a perfect angle while signing the documents, at the same time looking picture perfect for the camera, being delightful when chatting to various grannies and aunties, etc. Don't want to go, don't want to go"

NN: "I know, tell them all you can't make this trip anymore, that I don't know, you are sick, and let's fly tonight to go diving somewhere for a few weeks, no one will know where you will be"

E: "Hmmmm... Seriously?"

NN: "Seriously"

E: "Ok let's do it"

But then we called off each other's bluff, neither of us had the guts to do it. Not that we really really did not want to..

It's actually raining

2009-02-15T21:51:00.002+08:00

Well, so to continue with the usage of metaphors, the storm has actually arrived and it's now raining. Or we could say many things are going pear shaped with the employment situation. But rather than being panicked by this turn of events and the arrival of the storm, I feel I am in one of those movie scenes: standing outside staring up watching the rain fall, not caring about getting all wet, and just embracing life and the new opportunites that are opening up my way.
More updates soon when I analyse a bit better what is going on.

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'

(From The Times They Are A-Changin' by Bob Dylan)

The storm is near

2009-02-10T15:04:00.000+08:00

- Evie: "So Boss, what is new, what is up?"
- Boss: "Oh well, nothing special really, same old same old. Oh yeah just one thing. THEY are making some reorganisation announcements tomorrow. For all I know we could all get fired. Or whatever."
- Evie: "Erm. Uhuh."

My life as a coyote

2009-02-08T19:55:00.002+08:00

Every time I see him it's the same story. We spend a marvelous time together, blahblahblah. And then, he turns around, looks at me, and bolts off saying "Neep neep!".

Yeah ok maybe he does not say that litterally. But it really feels like that, exactly like in the cartoon of the coyote and the Neep Neep bird. Everytime the coyote feels he is close to his goal, Neep Neep runs away leaving poor coyote in a state of confused frustration.

But the race continues..

The world has gone mad

2009-02-05T14:51:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

1) First, I tried to sign up to a daily email newsletter but had to field extremely complicated questions to do it successfully. Because all I wanted was to receive the daily newsletter, but no spam. Seriously I think you need a PHD in quantum physics to work out which boxes you should tick to avoid receiving other carefully selected marketing materials.

Thank you for completing the registration forms. We would like to contact you from time to time with information about other products and services. You will be able to cancel this service at any time, but if you do not wish to take advantage of our targeted messages please tick this box: [box]
You might prefer to receive this information by email or fax, in which case please tick the box below:
By email [box] By fax [box]
Occasionally we would like to share your details with other companies whose products and services we consider might be useful to you in your business or career. If you would prefer not to be contacted with such messages please tick the boxes below:
By post [box] By phone [box]
And finally, you may prefer to receive messages from our carefully selected partners by fax or email and if so, please tick the boxes below:
By email [box] By fax [box]

2) Punished by the internet powers in place for (I hope) successfully avoiding the spam above, a few hours later I received a spam email from N*K*. It had an unsuscribe button, so I pressed it, and got a page with two options:

[box] Please remove my name from the N*K* e-mail list.
[box] On second thought, please keep my name on the N*K* e-mail list.

What kind of person would decide to unsuscribe, press the link, but faced with these two options start to panick and change their mind?? I think they should add a third box with "Ouhh I really don't know, let me call a friend".

3) I went to the posh supermarket City Super and heard a very alarming message over the PA system emitted with a Big Brother type voice: "The world is under threat. We have now installed some tills with no plastic bags. Please help us by reducing your plastic bag usage" or something like that. The world is under threat?? I take recycling and ecology very seriously, but I think this is a tiny bit exagerated.

Instruction Manual Misplaced

2009-02-03T18:38:00.005+08:00

7.25pm
To C: "What the hell do I wear?"

7.26pm
From C: "Jeans + cute top. Not too much cleavage (not that you have any, har har). Play it cool"

7.48pm
To C: "It's official, I really have nothing to wear"
From C: "Yeah right, you have a whole walk-in closet room where you can't possibly fit any more clothes, remember?
To C: "Maybe I should cancel".
From Lucy: "Oi, I heard you were having a wardrobe crisis. Don't make me come to yours to whip you into action".

8.05pm
To C: "He is going to laugh at me and turn around and leave".
From C: "As if. But, I am laughing at you, you are a wally".

8.37pm
To Text Guy: "Late! There in 3 mins, promise".
From Text Guy: "No worries, am waiting inside".

10.30pm
From C: "Go Evie, bring out your inner goddess and seduce him to bits, and come back and tell us the details. ALL the details. Signed C and Lucy".

2.05am
To C, Lucy: "Guys! It went well! No gossip to report (no, there was no kiss), but it's good this way. Want to have nights like this every day!"

2.07am
To Text Guy: "Thank you for a very tasty and thought-provoking night"
From Text Guy: "I had a great time too :). Sleep tight".

Letter to a friend

2009-02-02T10:06:00.003+08:00

I realise the other night was weird. When you and the others left my place I felt I would have wanted you to stay. I have no idea what exactly that meant, what I wanted really, all I knew was that I wanted to continue chatting with you. So on an impulse, I sent you that text, saying it would have been nice if you had stayed. I was aware that had we not drunk all that wine I would not have expressed this.

You immediately replied that you had had the same thought, but that somehow it was late (it was dawn) and you were already home. I am glad you said that, had you come back to mine I probably would have changed my mind at the last minute, and in anycase you were right it was too late. You asked what I was doing the rest of the week end.

So then I panicked, and totally backtracked and said I was too busy the rest of the week end to meet up - I was too freaked out to imagine what wheels I had started to put in motion.
I must have confused you sending these mixed signals, the text first followed by some vigorous backtracking.

We get on like a house on fire, we have long chats about life, love, everything and nothing, and we share a lot of laughs. I've told you things I have not mentioned to my other closest friends out here. I don't know if I like you for just that, for the friendly connection we have. Or if the feelings are more than that. I know that at the end of the day you are looking for something serious, whereas I am incapable of giving my heart to anyone at the moment. I don't even know if you think you may have some feelings for me too. I have no self confidence whatsoever when it comes to these things. Plus I am wondering, am I just needing a presence in my life and not being discerning about who it is?

The situation is thus a bit weird. I wonder if you are going to get in touch soon about it. That text I sent you was me crossing that friendship line first. And I don't have the guts, determination, or clarity to continue walking behind that line. I feel I need a signal from you. But even then, I am not even sure about that. Maybe it's better we stay as we are, crossing the friendship line would be useless and make us lose that friendship for good, what if it is not worth it?

Or perhaps we should go with the flow and see what happens.

Life is a Beach

2009-02-01T17:30:00.005+08:00

I have been challenged by HK Or Bust for the best beach shot. Given I never usually refuse challenges, and given the place I was at was so beautiful (you could take a picture of anything anytime, and you could make a postcard of it easily), I am of course up for it.

So, is this paradise, or what?

And for the pleasure of the eyes, I add another of my pictures which could also have been a contender:

Needless to say, I came back relaxed as hell, pale as a jellyfish (I spent most of the time underwater learning to Scuba dive), and ready to take on the Year of the Bull-no-shit with renewed energy.

(I may have lost some of the new found energy over the course of the past few days due to some intense partying but that is a story for another time).

Off to see the Hoff

2009-01-22T09:54:00.006+08:00

- So Evie, what are you doing for the Chinese New Year long week end? (we get 3 days off work)
- Oh you know, nothing special, just going to the Philippines to chill out.

Hold on a minute? Nothing special?? I am going to one of the top beaches in the world (the internet said so), where I am going to be snorkelling, possibly diving, pina-colada-ing and s.l.e.e.p.i.n.g for five days. All this with 5 of my top buddies in HK.

Two years ago before living here I would have killed to be in my shoes. But now I am in my shoes! (And without having needed a homicide either!).

This calls for a separate post about the things we tend to take for granted when living out here.

Aaaaaanyhooooow, to top it all, I am seriously hoping that this time tomorrow my friends and I will be looking like something like this:

(I am secretely hoping that David-the-Hoff-Hasselhoff might be planning a vacation there too).

Anger mis-management

2009-01-19T23:53:00.005+08:00

I have a problem with anger. Because I don't have the capacity to feel it. Sadness, frustration, resentment, swearing profusely, yes. But I am incapable of feeling anger in a healthy way that would help to get tension out of my system. Instead I either ignore the small things that bother me, or bottle up the bigger things, which gets translated in a state of stress.

So lately I have been experimenting with the emotion, and trying to express anger when something bothers me.

Friday night, after a rather shitty day at work full of bad news, I met C and Lucy for drinks and tried to be angry that night, along the lines of: "Hmm, I really fancy a Mojito. Ermmm, no, I mean, Grrrrrrr I am so angry tonight, someone get me a Mojito, now!". So the anger thing lasted for about a minute.

Today I felt I needed to try it again. I got home quite late after a dinner with friends and as I entered my flat I could hear some music, and thought to myself it was odd because usually I never hear the neighbours. And I started to feel anger towards them being so inconsiderate for playing music so late in the night, especially on a Monday night, after a very exhausting week end when I needed some real rest. I let the anger get out: "Damn you stupid neighbours, tonight I really need to get some f***ing sleep!" (swearing added for extra anger effect).

But then it turned out it was coming from the iPod in my handbag.

EMAP: Or how to get out of bed in this cold winter weather

2009-01-14T17:49:00.003+08:00

You know that feeling when you get woken up by this annoying repetitive sound, which after a few minutes you identify as your alarm clock? You know when you open one eye to glare at the aforementioned alarm clock and realise with horror that it's about the 7th time you have hit the snooze button and you are nearly one hour late? And all this while feeling on the tip of your nose (the only part of you peeking out of the covers) a glacial cold, which you know is going to bring your body into hypothermic shock?

Yes, I used to be a victim of the same tragedy. Until I tried Evie's Morning Action Plan (EMAP). Here is how it goes:

- Step 1: When the alarm rings for the first time, you are allowed to give into the old habit of quickly extending an arm and hitting the snooze button, but ONLY FOR ONE SNOOZE (because I am not a sadist and the right to one snooze should be an Officially Recognised Human Right).
- Step 2: When the alarm rings again, you turn if off, and do not let the head hit he pillow. I repeat, do not let the head hit the pillow. Copy that.
- Step 3: Then you do the Happy Exercise - Clap your hands together enthusiastically, and try to find one detail from the day that you are looking forward to. It can be something small. But no matter how small it is, you need to get incredibly over excited by it and say it out loud. For example, this morning I shouted: "YESSSSS!!! Today I am wearing my BOOTS!! WUHHHUUUHHH". And I over exaggerated this feeling of happiness until I firmly believed it was the most wonderful thing in the world.
- Step 4: By then you should be getting close to freezing point (having your arms already peeking out of the duvet) so you need to throw yourself out of bed, run like a maniac to your stereo and put a very uplifting song on your ghetto blaster.
- Step 5: (optional but with guaranteed extra whooompfff provided for the day): Dance like a maniac to the uplifting tune, something rock-music-like is better because it allows for some invigorating head banging action.
- Step 6: jump into a hot shower which should help to thaw your hands and feet which would be near freezing point by now.

And it is a truth universally acknowledged that once one had one's shower one is properly awake and ready to face the day.

We guarantee the EMAP plan will help you achieve happiness, energy, success, romance and winning the lottery (at some point).

The EMAP committee.

Because it's Tuesday

2009-01-13T18:23:00.002+08:00

Time for TMI Tuesday!

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?
Probably around 2. Just because am not getting much of it these days (and not likely to for a while, in part because I've given it up as one of my resolutions for the new year). Am so going cold turkey after a few weeks graded 10/10 with George..

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?
Kiss back even harder. And bite.

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
Le Poulet took me to a romantic week end away somewhere very far (and expensive!). Though he did it more because he wanted to check out the place than something romantic for me, but still, it is a good memory.
The most romantic thing I've seen done by someone else is to change religion for the other person, it's so personal and meaningful.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?
In one of the buildings of my, erm, high school. No comment.

5. How do you liked to be kissed?
I do like the scenario in question number 2. Or alternatively, in the way Jude Law did that kiss with Nora Jones in My Blueberry Nights.

Bonus (as in optional):Most embarrassing sexual moment?
I can't really think of one. I think the embrassaing moments usually happen the morning after..

The party

2009-01-12T09:32:00.000+08:00

This week end I had my birthday party, to celebrate the fact I was an old cookie, with boobs that start to hang too low and hair that begins to turn gray (I turned 30). Well, that is not the way I presented the occasion of the party to my friends, I turned it into "celebration of my eternal youth", which sounds somewhat better.

Well kids, it was the best party in the world. Initially I had been quite freaked out, because I always freak out when I organise events, about whether there would be too many people, not enough people, people would get bored, not like the music, all leave at 10 pm, etc. But hell, it was amazing. I had set a theme to the event that was simple yet effective, so nearly everyone played along with it. Also, I had organised a game to get people mingling and it really worked, by the end of the night everyone knew everyone. The turnout was really impressive too, at one point the bar was heaving with people and it was impossible to walk through. And most importantly, numbers are great but what I really loved is that most people there were ones I knew very well and was fond of, and it was great to see them all grouped in the same place having so much fun.

At around 3.30am we decided to hit another bar for a bit of an after party, and there we bumped into Eddie, the oh-so-mesmerising idiot I have a crush on. And he really is a total fuckwit, he never replied to my invitation, never came to my party, and when C asked him why he did not come he mumbled something about the fact he had got his dates mixed up and thought it was on another day. I know he is a total douchebag, but I still keep him on my To Do List 2009, just because I have set myself this challenge.

The next morning was a bit painful but it was worth every ounce, I woke up with a troll playing drums in my head but also a huge smile that stayed on my lips all day through and is still there this morning.

Why shopping is in fact very bad for you

2009-01-07T16:40:00.006+08:00

In order to stick to my resolution number 652 (the one about dressing smartly at work), I decided to check out the sales at Zara in order order to stock up on some basics like t-shirts and shirts. The quality is poor but for basic items that will last a season Zara fits the bill (listen to me, I sound like an advice column from Cosmo mag).

The thing with Zara is that the fitting rooms have been designed by psychopaths with the ultimate aim of distorting your sense of bearing and potentially even your identity. The lighting is super bright, it's the "oooooh I had no idea I had a pimple there" kind. So at first you feel rubbish. But then, things get better. For one, because the clever psychopaths have designed the clothes sizes to be one size too big. So if usually you are a size 40, the size 40 items will be too large for you. So you will then try the size 38 (which is in fact a size 40 in the real world). Even if you know about the manipulation that is going on, you feel smug and happy because you are wearing an item with a smaller size number written on it.

And to top it all up, the mirrors are slimming. I realised this as I was standing in the fitting room in my underwear, and I even paused in my clothes fitting to turn in all angles, front, back, side, happy face, sad face, sexy pause, shy pause and finally model catwalk walk on the same spot.

Anyhow, a few moments, or maybe minutes, or maybe possibly hours later, I emerged with some cheap badly cut t-shirts but feeling like a skinny sex goddess.

Under this illusion, the next thing I did was to go to the sweet shop and buy myself sweets with enough calories to feed an entire medium sized village. Hence I bet if I go back to those miraculous fitting rooms at Zara tomorrow even they will not be able to work their magic to hide the fact the Ass will have doubled in size.

The dreams

2009-01-05T21:37:00.012+08:00

I dream very rarely. Perhaps because I am so tired most of the time from all the partying and running around, that my sleep gets very deep and restful with no time for dreaming.

But the past two nights in a row, I've been having very vivid dreams ... of a kinky kind. (The last time I had one of those was probably more than 5 years ago).

In the first dream, I was with Tom, my friend back in Europe on whom I've had a crush for years but with whom nothing ever happened. I dreamt that he was kissing me, and it was totally electric. I am supposed to meet Tom for real in a couple of months when I head back home on vacation, so am wondering if the dream is premonitory? *grinning*.

The second dream, last night, was with Eddie. We were involved in a huge cloud of steaminess. I think next time I see him, I will blush like a tomato...

So I guess my resolution of giving up sex in 2009 has not been going down too well with my subconscious then. I am still trying to stick to it, even though there could be challenges in the coming months.

Resolution update:

- no more smoking: the worstly kept resolution in the history of resolutions, 10 minutes after midnight I was already lighting one on the grounds that the new year starts only when the day light arrives..
- no sex and no boys: the sex bit has been ok, aside from my wild dreams.. But the boys part I am not yet fully sure. I have been spending a lot of time with my friend Geeky Guy lately, not sure where it's heading or what I myself want at this stage, hope to have more to tell this week end..
- going places: I went to Shenzhen all by myself, it was scary, it was cheap (for shopping), it was fun and: - it's crossed from my list, been there, done that.
- getting fit: I've run 18 km in the last two days, hope to keep up the rythm as I am still far from my target pace.

All in all, could be worse, but must try harder.

Oh, and about those dreams. Listening about 35 times per day (no exaggeration) to this is probably not helping to stop my mind from wandering.

Tadaaaah

2008-12-31T09:19:00.003+08:00

And the 2009 resolution nominees are:

- Stop the delusionally thought-of-as-non-addictive habit of igniting cigarettes and inhaling on them when I am out
- Lose 5 kg before June
- Get fit: do the 10k race in the HK marathon in Feb in under 55 mins
- Redefine or change job
- Get home before 8 and stay there at least 4 nights a week
- Read a book a month minimum
- Start a collection of HK movies, watch at least one a month
- Go to Shenzhen, Shanghai (again), Canton, Saigon (again), Australia
- Take Cantonese classes again
- Send parcels of goodies to friends
- Get connected to Skype
- Install curtains in flat
- Wear smart clothes at work (also known as stop dressing as a slob), because as they say "don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want to have".
- Host at least 3 people through Couchsurfing this year

I also have an informal resolution I have been toying with for a few weeks. I read an article in the highly scientific and brainy magazine known as Cosmopolitan, about a student in Britain who decided to give up sex. This was after some years of very casual hook ups and strings of one night stands. Initially I thought it was zany because why would you want to treat it as something that is totally bad for you? But then reading on, her points made sense. She knew that she would avoid all these situations of waking up with a low self esteem because of mistakes made on drunken nights out. She was automatically weeding out the men who were only after the sex. And she had this sort of inner peace.

And I thought I should give it a try. Not that my life is a whole string of sexual encounters, so that would not be a huge change on a day to day basis. But just knowing that it's not in the cards anymore will not only avoid stupid situations, but also I think it will give me more strength and peace of mind in the way I will deal with the men I know and will be meeting this year.

The only exceptions to the rule would be:
- if I suddenly meet someone remotely serious, but he would need to wait at least, I don't know, 3 or 4 dates. Or 10.
- if I already have had a relationship with the guy before (no, it's not at all that I am leaving a window open for George here)

Wishing you all a fabulous new year's eve tonight, as well as an amazing start to 2009. I am looking forward to reading how it pans out in your lives. For the record, it WILL be a good year, promise.

2008 in numbers

2008-12-30T11:32:00.002+08:00

Well well well, 2008 has been a rough ride. The world went through a lot, and I really really believe 2009 will bring more hope and optimism. I don't mean just for me, I mean in general, in the world. But more about 2009 later.

Let's for one moment recap my 2008:

Number of 2008 resolutions kept: 4
- lose weight and make peace with the Ass a bit
- learn to speak a bit of Cantonese
- take up a hobby to do with drama
- do cultural stuff in HK

Number of blog posts (including this one, and tomorrow's one on resolutions): 74

Number of countries set foot in: 10
- Macau and Thailand in Feb (yes, I count Macau as a country mmkay?)
- US of A in April
- Philippines in May
- France and Britain in June
- China in September
- Vietnam in October
- Japan in November
- plus of course Hong Kong

Number of performances I took part in: 5

Number of friends who stayed on my couch: 6

Number of challenges taken part in: countless

Number of boys kissed: 3
- the Bar Guy (randomly met in a bar in May) - worst kisser ever
- the Lover (randomly met in a club in August) - not bad at all
- George (ahhhh, George, the secret relationship that lasted 2 months) - wins the prize of the best kisser, and not just of the year

Other notable achievements:
- Finally managed to get over le Poulet
- Keeping a job despite working in a company that got hit hard by the credit crunch.

At bl**dy last

2008-12-30T08:56:00.005+08:00

Christmas is over, and I sigh of relief. I have always hated it, and this year it's been as awful as ever.

Normal people spend this time of year back home with their parents, eating lots and complaining about having to deal with inappropriate questions from aunties and being hassled by parents on a general level. For me, it's a time of dread and fear. In part because my family is more complicated than those combined of Dallas and The Bold and The Beautiful. When I was young, as the time came near, so came a whole range of issues, going from "how to split our time to celebrate it with two families who loathe each other?" to "what to do when your mother has a nervous breakdown on Xmas day?". All this in an atmosphere where you are pressurised to be happy happy and Christmassy. While comparing yourself to the other families out there who are gathered together, and behaving normally.

I thought this year would be different. Because it was going to be just my mum and me. Because we would be in Hong Kong. Because we had not seen each other for six months and would probably not get into a fight.

But no. We got on each other's nerves. I felt she was nagging me to death. I think in retaliation I was a pest, despite trying to be nice and get the Christmas spirit going. We said awful things to each other. It resulted in her having a nervous breakdown. It was fantastic.

The two days after that, we avoided the subject, we just went in autopilot mode, went out to eat, went to see touristic sights, as if nothing had happened. And now she has flown back home and I have this awful sadness because things will never change. No matter how old and adult I will be, no matter how much water flows under the bridge, deep down our relationship will always be superficial and full of tension. And Christmas together will always be rubbish.

The Shirt problem, and Christmas day plans

2008-12-24T01:26:00.006+08:00

I have lots of problems. Well no, two problems. The first is the Shirt, the second is Christmas day dinner.

I was wearing this really nice shirt today. But when I tried to take it off I had a problem because it was so tight at the cuffs (it stops at the elbows, in a very tight way) that I had a really hard time pulling it off and got stuck in it for a few minutes, mainly because even though I am not that fat I still have a bit of normal arm fat on my arms which offered some resistance. But it's ok now, I managed to change into my scary pyjama t-shirt. (I am wearing the 5th one).

The second problem is that my friend R invited me for X mas dinner on the 25th but I am not sure what to do. She is married, and all her friends are married banker couples, and I fear turning up with my mum will be weird because we are not in the Married Banker clan.. I need to give her an answer tomorrow (technically later today given it's past midnight), still pondering...

Xmas day lunch is sorted though, I have adopted a bunch of my friends who are Stranded Expats in Hong Kong, we will go for lunch all together which should be good fun.

Hope you guys are all ok on the Xmas problems front..

The secret behind The Secret

2008-12-22T10:48:00.006+08:00

In order to embrace better my upcoming Thirties, I am reading The Secret to uncover the truth behind what makes people happy and successful.

The idea is that you can attract everything you want, simply by being in the right state of mind. For example, if you really believe and know how to bend the Universe to make you thin, you will become thin. Or become a millionaire, or get a novel published etc. So basically the Universe will respond to your thoughts, sending positive things your way if you are positive and visa versa. There are some things in the book that a are a bit cuckoo: there is a tale of a guy who wanted to test the concept so he spent a lot of time visualising a feather, with specific markings so that when he saw it he could recognise it. Well one day, as he was walking down the street in New York, he saw lying there, in the street, the same very feather that he had been visualising all this time. Whatever.

Even if a lot of the book is wacky, I thought I would try to apply some the concepts and check out what good would come out of it. It is true that if you keep complaining about life and seeing negative things everywhere you may be closing yourself to a lot of positive opportunities.

So here is the list of things I have integrated into my thought process (ie I have worked on believing them myself) in order to send the message to the Universe that it should send them myway:

- I am super gorgeous and self confident
- My bosses value me and have decided to promote me to a new exciting and fulfilling job at which I will kick ass.
- I radiate happiness, people instantly feel drawn to me
- I am clearheaded and wholesome
- I have no communication issues, I can relate well with all: colleagues, friends, strangers, or my family
- I am going to meet my soul mate any minute now
- I am svelte and look amazing in whatever I wear, without putting on weight despite eating lots of food

The Kingdom of Happiness and the Bog of Despair

2008-12-19T13:52:00.002+08:00

I have reached an (old) age where I am increasingly starting to see my friends getting married. There are now 4 couples in my circles of friends who have tied the knot, and wedding number 3 really felt the weirdest because those friends were ones I identified with very strongly: they had been together roughly the same amount of time as Le Poulet and I, they were like us multicultural, young professionnals living a yuppy life while sampling the madness of London. It felt odd when they announced they were getting married, because that was precisely the time Le Poulet and I started to split up. And watching this couple enter the Kingdom of Happiness (as I saw it at the time) while I was sinking into the Bog of Despair (as I saw it at the time) was extremely painful. All this was barely 1.5 years ago.

But, here is the thing. Last week lady friend from couple number 3 told me she was moving out of their house. That there was no future in her relationship with her husband. That she thought might have fallen in love with someone else. And that they were likely to get divorced because the differences between them were too irreconciliable.

That was totally surprising news. Thhey had always projected this happiness, togetherness, complicity. I felt, and still feel very sad. Sad for them both that it's not working out. That something that seemed so beautiful and blissfull was falling apart. And that they were both undergoing so much pain. Also it made me realise that the statistics are right, and that marriages do not have great odds to be Happy and Blissful until the end of time. And that getting married does not really change things much, the problems that were there before remain there, the relationship still needs a huge amount of work to last, and all in all it is not something that on its own can make people happy. I mean it does not transform magically the reality of life into a fairy tale.

I on the other hand, am feeling happier and more free than ever before. Like they say, it's better to be alone than with the wrong person. I am enjoying the singledom and appreciate the fact if I do meet someone serious one day, I now have more tools in my box to know what I want and what would work for me. Am not saying that I suddenly feel smug and happy that the married couple are going through hell, I am just saying it has made me realise that I am not missing that much in my life by not being married, contrary to what I may have thought at the time.

Now there is the question of upcoming marriage number 5: my two best friends ever are getting married next March, and I will be the main witness because I am the one who introduced them. (I know there is no such thing as a main witness, but I view myself as the most important of all the 8 witnesses given that if I did not exist there would be no wedding, ha!).
And I know despite all the talk about me being happy to be single blah blah blah this could sound surprising, but I am dreading, no, in capital letters, DREADING, going to this alone because all the other guests, especially those at the main table, are going to be there two by two by two and I will be left sitting all alone at the end of the table like a rabid dog. And given I have always lived abroad I don't really know most of the other people so it makes it even more scary.

However, thanks to a little help from my friends "Christmas party", "wine", and "surfing Facebook while tipsy", I may (just *may* at this stage) found myself a solution to the problem. But more about that later.

Tryout: TMI Tuesday

2008-12-16T21:34:00.003+08:00

Yay, let me try my hand at my first TMI Tuesday:

1. What is the greatest age difference between you and a SO? Older or younger?
It was with le Poulet who was 7 years older than me. At the time it seemed huge, though it turned out I was the older one in terms of maturity. I do believe I would be happier with an older partner, men my age are usually too immature and uncommited (sweeping generalisation, but in Hong Kong probably is correct for 99% of cases).

2. What is the greatest age difference between you and any sexual partner? Older or younger?
Still not beating the 7 years, with both le Poulet and the Lover being that much older than me.

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
I hate Christmas and all the shopping rush that goes with it. It will be a casual affair with mum with whom we agreed not to do gifts. But am still planning on getting a few for her, but hey I have a WHOLE week to find them! And there are all the Santa Swaps at various Christmas parties that are coming up in the next few days, I am also procrastinating buying those.

4. What are the chances there will be a "naughty" present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
None, because 1) I am celebrating it with my mum and 2) see post below. Oh yeah and 3) given I am planning to spend the next 12 months in celibacy it's just as well.

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
We Grinches do not like holiday songs. Bah hum bug.

Bonus (as in optional):Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?
There is something about morning sex that is naughty and requires a good level of intimacy which makes it that little bit extra more enjoyable.

Christmas fool

2008-12-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

Last week end I was invited to a huge Christmas dinner-food-fest at a friend's house. There was a big group of us, most of them good friends except for two people whom I know very superficially.
We all brought one gift and did a Santa Swap. Being me, I did not want to do a boring gift so I made it a little bit naughty, just because I knew the group of people was fun and it would make the evening more interesting..
It turns out my gift ended up with one of the girls I did not know that well, and she is the shy/prude type, and I think my gift shocked her. So instead of it being funny, it was plain embarassing. Nice one.

I've got four more Santa Swaps coming up in the next week, I am now sticking to giving very boring CDs, no more exciting stuff!

Monday joke

2008-12-15T23:55:00.002+08:00

Because we need some humour to get through the week.

A koala and a lizard are sitting on a tree smoking joints and getting totally high. The lizard gets so stoned that he falls off the tree. He shouts to the koala: "Mate! I am going to the river to get a drink of water, be right back!".
At the river he starts to drink but is so stoned he falls in the water. Lucky a crocodile is nearby and fishes him out and puts him back to safety on the river bed. The crocodile asks the lizard: "What is up with you? How come you fell in the river like that?".
The lizard says "I was up on a tree smoking joints with the koala and getting high, I came to drink some water and fell in".
The crocodile decides to check this out for himself so he walks up to the tree where the koala is sitting (still smoking the joint) and calls out: "Hey!". The koala looks down and says:
"Faaaaaarrrkkk, how much water did you drink??".

You have got to try your breast

2008-12-12T10:32:00.002+08:00

She slid one hand under my t-shirt. Her fingers were a cold, which made my skin come out in goose pimples.

No, I had not suddenly decided to try women after my misadventures with men.. Rather, yesterday I went for a health check up, and I learnt something useful: breast self examination. I am ashamed it took me so long to learn this, it's simple and fast, and can make a world of a difference to detect cancer sooner rather than later. The doctor yesterday showed me how it's done, and I thought I would share in case there are other clueless people like me out there. (Men, sorry if the start of the post was a bit misleading, heheh).

It should be done once a month, and ideally you can do it in bed or in the shower. First pull say your left arm up in the air, then use the right hand to press all over the breast. It's not a squeezing movement, but more of a press down movement, using the tips of the three middle fingers of your hand. Like the doctor says "Under the shower it's good because the soap makes you more sensitive to spot things". She said you are looking for something like a bean, ie a very hard lump amid the inner tissue.

There, I hope this can be useful.

And one quick note on week end planning. This one is going tobe another manic one, on the agenda we have:

- 2 shows (I am taking part in)
- 1 Christmas dinner
- 1 birthday party (for a friend) in a nightclub
- sorting out my paperwork
- cleaning my flat because it's the last week end before my Mother arrives in town!

Shameful confession

2008-12-09T22:04:00.003+08:00

I am now shut in my self-imposed monastery of singledom and celibacy refusing any further contact with men for a little while. As a matter of fact I would like to declare that I am going to spend the next year without men. At all. Not even casual hook ups. There, it's done. I've just magically avoided myself 12 months of hassle until December 2009.

The reason behind my new-found motivation for vows of celibacy? I got strange news today. About the Lover. You may ask who was he again?

Let's skip back to August which will always be affectionately known as Man Month 2008 with so many of them appearing into my horizon. One Saturday night I went for a drink for a friend's birthday, in a bar. I was not in a party mood and feeling a bit tired I set myself a target of staying in this bar for my friend's birthday for one hour. After which I would gracefully excuse myself and head home for a good rest.

Turns out I went home at 8 am that night (rather next morning). In retrospect, agreeing to drink more than 1.5 bottles of champagne per person had not been a great idea. Getting into a posh memebrs-only nightclub when totally drunk and wearing very casual clothes and Jesus-sandals had been very lucky. Drinking some more champagne at the nightclub (paid for by yours truly who nearly had a heart attack when finding the receipt the next day) had also been a mistake in retrospect. The rest of the evening was a blur. I was happy as a teddy bear on speed thanks to the champagne. And I started talking to this guy.

One thing led to another... I am not big on one night stands especially with total strangers (as a matter of fact I truly believe they are not smart at all) but I am ashamed to say this was a very typical case of it. We rode the taxi up the windy roads of Hong Kong hills, all the way up to the Peak, ie the posh part of town. We arrived to this mansion, seriously MANSION with an amazing view of the whole city. I had never seen such a huge home in HK. For a guy who was in his mid-thirties, the house was quite impressive.

Again, one thing led to another... Let's just say that the most painful part of the story, was when I opened my eyes at 7.45 am the next day. I glanced next to me to the snoring naked guy and I felt for the first time in my life that cinema moment where the girl slaps her head and says "Oh noooo noooo noooo please tell me I am dreaming this". He is quite a good looking guy but like that, asleep, naked and snoring, I just thought I needed to get out of there double quick. So I left him a quick note apologizing for not waking him but that it was too early, and I left my number (because that felt classier). Argh, I recall the cringeworthy walk of shame past the security staff of the building, whom I had to ask for help to call a taxi for me.

From my hazy memory I recalled he had told me he was "separated" from his wife. And the place did look like a bachelor pad with no feminine presence. But nevertheless I was quite sure I would never see him again. Perhaps because I was suspicious of someone who claims to be just separated. Perhaps because I knew the way we had began knowing each other was a natural dead end, no good relationship could come out of it. Perhaps because I knew we were just too different. He texted me that night asking if I got home ok. Politely I said yes thanks.

To cut a long story short, I saw the Lover once more, decided it was a stupid sort of story (especially because I am still convinced he is more married than he claims to be, I got more signs I was probably right about that), and I never saw him again. He tried to call a couple of times after that but I happened to miss those calls and after a while the dust settled on this story. That is how I came to name him the Lover, because I think I would have been his Mistress had I been game. So that was the end of that.

Until today, when I read something in the special newspaper of my line of work which made me jump up from my chair and startle my colleagues by yelling "SHIIIIIIT". The news was that the Lover, who apparently is a big enough hot shot to make the news, had been hired in the firm I work for, due to start in January. Great.

Something in the air

2008-12-09T22:01:00.001+08:00

There is something in the air. It's going to take us all by surprise soon, but I don't know what it is. I think some big news of some sort. Or a surprise visit. I really don't know, I just know I've got the feeling that whatever is in the air will land soon.

Can I please pee in peace?

2008-12-08T22:27:00.002+08:00

It's back. It's all around us. It's not going to give anyone a break. It's that time of year. It's Christmas.

Every year I it drives me mad. But I can cope with the cheerful decorations. I can cope with the fact my office tower has gone way over the top and has installed more Christmas trees and red and gold bows than most small size cities in the world can afford. I am ok with the incessant advertising pressurising us all to buy the perfect presents in time for the big day. I can just about stand listening to the happy cheery music when I enter my office building even if I have to fight against it to remain in my pre-coffee morning mood.

But what I can not stand, is when I go to the bathroom at work, having to listen to the falalalalala-rudolf-the-red-nose-my-true-love-gave-to-the-jingle-bells crap when I am taking a piss.

... and silliness in the valley as well

2008-12-07T23:09:00.003+08:00

Just to prove I will never become fully mature and sensible even as I near my thirties.. (despite the fact today I acheived the incredibly mature and sensible task of cleaning out my bathroom junk cupboard).

Today I sent a text message to my friend Maria to ask her which mall, Pacific Place 1 (PP1) or Pacific Place 3 (PP3) was the one with shop XYZ in it. She works in the same building as the mall PP3, and is a girl, so by definition is an expert for shopping in the area.

I don't know her extremely well, I usuall y meet her through my friend Lucy, so I don't call/text her that often directly. I have two mobile numbers for her, her personal one, and her work one, and I never recall which one she uses most so usually I just text both.

So today I sent this message to both numbers:

From Evie, to Maria Perso Phone & Maria Work Phone
"Hi! Hope you and Lucy survived the hike yesterday.. Quick question, is shop XYZ in PP1 or PP3? Thx a lot!".

A few minutes later I got a reply from Maria Perso Phone
"Hi! We are totally dead but it was fab! Better go to PP1 for the shop, enjoy!".

An hour or two later, I got the below message from her Work Phone as well

From Maria Work Phone, to Evie
"I am not sure, sorry. Btw, who is this, who are you looking for?".

I was with Boarding School Friend at the time and I commented what a strange person Maria is. How can she not remember it was me, given I had sent the same message to her Personal phone to which she had replied? I knew she was a bit cagey about her work situation and probably was paranoid getting stalked on her work phone where she probably did not have my number saved in the memory, but still?? What a weird reply from her. But she had done this before I recall, sending weird replies back asking "who is this?" whenever I would text for example to confirm cinema meeting times.

So I thought I would reassure her, and texted back "You banana, it's only me, Evie!! :) ".

To which the response came: "FYI I don't do hiking, must be a wrong number, Evie".

D'oh. So all along I had thought it was Maria who was the psychopath with a multiple personality disorder. It never occured that I was the psychopath too slow to realise that for several months I had been involuntarily stalking some stranger.

Peace in the valley

2008-12-07T16:57:00.005+08:00

The verdict? I did not force myself to do anything exciting on Thursday. Simply because I did not need to. My emotions had been running on a roller coaster in the past few months due to many factors (the crazy job situation, reconnecting with Eddie, meeting George, taking part in a show I will tell more about one day). After such a long state of natural high the crash had to be a bit hard and that explains my odd mood and restlessness all through last week. But now it feels like I have landed, I am at last at peace and I am happy to stay in my bubble for now. Proof: It felt good to go home before midnight last night (a Saturday!!).

I want to spend more time with myself, not running around left, right and centre being a social butterfly and challenging myself all the time out of my comfort zone. I want to wake up in the morning without saying to myself each time "Uuugggghhhh I am so tired, why did I go out last night again?". I want to sleep 12 hour nights, read more, and sort out that cupboard full of the dreaded "paperwork". I want to avoid spending precious brain neurones worrying about men because they are not L'Oreal ("they are not worth it"). And lastly I want to focus on working out in the gym for a body I can be proud of.

I am turning 30 (Three Zero) in three weeks, I want to step into this new decade of my life full of energy, confidence, and maturity. Not that it is possible I become fully mature and sensible, you can take Evie out of silly situations but you can't take the sillyness out of Evie.

Making things happen

2008-12-04T11:31:00.000+08:00

One should never make challenges with one's friends when tipsy on 3 glasses of red wine drunk on an empty stomach.

As I got home last night in the above mentioned state my friend C rang me. She was in an equally cr@ppy mood so we spent an hour moaning about men and about the fact all we ever speak about is men to moan about them. We agreed nothing ever happens in our lives and that is where we had a brilliant (drunken) idea and set ourselves "the 24 hour challenge": before midnight the next day (ie tonight), something exciting needs to happen to both of us. And if the excitement does not happen of its own doing, we have to make it happen. In C's case, she is probably going to call Good Looking Guy, whom she met one night a few weeks ago and who has not given much news recently.

In my case, I am working on it:

9.02am.
From Evie to C
Omygod, something exciting happened. I have my thing-before-midnight.

9.16am
From C to Evie
??

9.33am
From Evie to C
George called me.

9.34am
From C to Evie
Really??

9.36am
From Evie to C
YES! But it was in my dream. Still counts though, right?

9.37am
From C to Evie
NO

9.46am
From Evie to C
Pfffffft.

Restless

2008-12-03T16:19:00.001+08:00

I am restless.

Because nothing is happening at work these days. I work in a place that is like many others victim of the global crisis. Yesterday I was feeling like I was coming up with the flu, so I went home at 4. Well, no one noticed, because my phone did not ring, no one needed me, not one colleague tried to reach me. I might as well just have taken December off to go to Goa or somewhere. Of course I feel fortunate I still have a job but still, this sitting waiting around for the markets to pick up is killing me.

Because my friends are not as bored as me so they don't respond to my emails as fast as I can. So I end up sending lots of messages out there and then sitting and waiting for the responses to trickle in painfully slowly over the course of the day.

Because I need to plan a bit what to do for Christmas when my Mother arrives in town, but am too bored to look into it. I should be excited but I hate Christmas and even more planning for it.

Because I need to start to think about what to do for New Year, but am not in a party mood and can't be bothered to organise anything myself.

Because I keep checking my phone and email to see if my life is about to get any more exciting, if any of the boy projects I had lately are yielding anything new. But without fault nothing new or exciting is happening, no one is texting me inviting me for crazy nights out.

Because when I get home where I can check my Facebook or Hotmail accounts I am always full of hope that something new is happening, that some hot cripsy message or gossip arrived earlier in the day and has been waiting for me. But it never happens like that. I only get boring messages from Hotmail staff or people inviting me to turn into zombie vampires or whatever.

Because it's getting dark and cold (relatively, I don't expect much sympathy for moaning about it being 12 degrees Celcius outside but still, it feels cold) and so naturally it makes my mind want to hibernate, get locked up under a warm duvet and read for days on end. Seasonal Affective Disorder is probably kicking in.

Because I am in a bad mood which is super rare, and it makes me impatient and restless and puts me in an even worse mood.

15 hours of sleep in 3 days later..

2008-12-01T16:57:00.003+08:00

I've just been chewed and spat out by another intense week end. It all started on Thursday night when I went to the Kylie Minogue concert. I don't know much about Kylie, apart from that "Nanana nanana naaaana" song, but I thought it's worth giving it a shot, it's not everyday we get such high profile celebrities in town. And it was superb. Because she is a real diva, who knows how to inflame the stage despite her minuscule size. Because she got changed about 6 times in the course of two hours and her costumes were all stunning (especially that red floaty dress with the thigh high boots, Russian Army style). Because she knows how to work a room. Because she posted lots of pictures of semi-naked sailors on the big screens throughout the show (which really worked for an audience made up for 99% of ladies and gay guys).

That really got me fired up and ready to join for the second part of the night C and Lucy, who were out having drinks with Geeky Guy and some of his friends. Geeky Guy is a friend I met through Eddie (who was not there that night, at least not when I got there). His friends were a cool fun bunch and it was really refreshing to spend the evening with a group of new friendly faces. We had some good laughs and ended up dancing in a club until 3 am.

And that was only Thursday night.

On Friday my Boarding School Friend arrived from Europe to spend a few days with me. Her suitcases lodged in my living room, I dragged her out to a friend-of-a-friend's rooftop party. I did not know anyone else but the crowd of people was very international and friendly. We did not stay too long because the next morning we had a 6.30 am (A.M.!!) start to go on a hike to a remote part of Hong Kong. Plus the fact the 4 hours of sleep from the night before were taking their toll.

Saturday morning, as I opened up my eyes at 6.30 am (A.M.!!) I cursed my over-eagerness to sample Hong Kong and accept invitations to hikes requiring such an early start, especially after another night of 4 hours of sleep. But boy it was worth it. After a couple of hours of train and boat travelling we got to this beautiful uninhabited island. Our group of 5 intrepid explorers spend the day exploring. Actually, I am lying. First, when we arrived, we were so cold from the windy boat ride that we sat down in the first restaurant we found to warm ourselves with a bit of hot tea. Then we walked a bit but stumbled upon a beautiful beach where we lay down in the sun to warm up more and rest from the trip. Then we walked a bit and arrived on a beautiful area full of huge flat stones that were very inviting. Plus we were hungry so had a break there to eat lunch and take a nap. Then we took a break from the break by taking a break (if that makes sense) and then ended up going for another cup of warm tea in the restaurant in order to get energy for the long boat trip back in the cold.

I felt a bit bad for Boarding School Friend because as we got home I was already pressing her on to get ready 45 minutes later because we were meeting other friends for dinner. I promised that that evening would be more quiet, that I was totally dead, and that we would probably go home early. After dinner we decided to go to a bar for one last drink, and there bumped into a whole lot of other friends. The lack of sleep was decidedly taking its toll though, until we received a text message from Geeky Guy saying he was in a night club nearby and wondering if we wanted to join. Well guess what we did next? We went to the club "just for a drink". But the music was excellent and I really enjoyed the company of the group there, so it turned out we spent the next few hours dancing like fiends to the music (fortunately Boarding School Friend had gone home for some much needed sleep by then, otherwise she would have killed me had she waited for me). At around 3 am I felt my saoul was about to leave my body from the tiredness, so we decided to head back home.

Obviously, Sunday was spent in a semi-vegetative state trying to recover in time for the week to come, which I promised myself would be more chilled and restful if I didn't want to die soon. But then the past few days were so fun I would do it all over again. Is it week end yet?

Oh and by the way, still no news of George. Soon it will be 2 weeks since I saw him, the longest we spent without one of us contacting the other for a catch up, I have a feeling I was right, he won't be getting in touch either, which all in all is a good thing.

Addiction cured - First Time Clothing Thing

2008-11-27T00:09:00.004+08:00

I think one of my addictions is cured: Yup, looks like I won't be seeing George again.
We met for our trademark "catch up" last week, and it was not great. Actually, it was totally abysmal.

Why? Well, lots of reasons:
- I realised we had nothing to say to each other. This was never important before because I guess we did not spend that much time talking, but I reckon I reached a stage where just ripping each other's clothes off was not enough to justify spending time with him
- The passion seems to have fizzled out (maybe it's linked to the first point above, where my head was taking over worrying rather than going with the flow)
- The whole evening was saoulless, almost clinical. I can't explain it any better, it just felt like I was acting in a movie with no motivation for what I was doing. And after the "deed", as usual, we had no cuddling/contact which really striked me as cold, even more than before.
- He did the First Time Clothing Thing. Here is my theory: at the initial stages of a relationship, things are pretty steamy on the sexual front, right? And usually the two parties to the steaminess will tend to sleep naked. Flash forward a few months/years later. When you get comfy, complacent, settled in, you don't sleep naked any more, because it's cold, or less comfy, or just because you don't need to anymore. Well, for me, it's important to try to keep things with a spark for as long as possible. And this means avoiding getting too comfy/complacent too early. And this specifically entails not getting clothed, because if you do it means you are on the motorway to boredom (no offence to anyone who is in the Sleeping Together Clothed Camp, afterall what do I really know about what makes a relationship work?? :). And that other night, before falling asleep, he whipped on a pair of boxers for sleeping. Ie he did the First Time Clothing Thing. BIG MISTAKE in my book.

So, the moral of the story is, the whole point of a friend with benefits is to get the full benefits without the worrying which goes with a real relationship. This friendship is not coming up with enough benefits and too much worrying on my part, so out with it! I will not initiate contact with him anymore (ok, but I don't bet any money on it, just in case in 6 months time I suddenly get an, er, urge, for catching up). I am still curious to see if it was as rubbish for him and wether he will be initiating any contact in the weeks to come, hmmp.

Wow that was a very honest analysis of what I've been up to.

The 1% probability

2008-11-24T20:29:00.003+08:00

Last week I had a weird conversation with the boss. He called me with the most unexpected question. Which was:

- "Evie, how attached are you to staying in Hong Kong?".

BLLAAARRRGGGHHH what on earth does that mean? How do you answer that?
I love this city, it has adopted me and I feel more at home here than anywhere else. But (there is a but), in the current environment of the credit crunch, global downturn, international recession, mass layoffs, I wanted to appear cooperative. So I explained that I was most attached to the job and the firm, and was open to negociations regarding location.

He then told me it was only a hypothetical question, and he just needed to know given there were some big reorganisations in the works. So the chance of anything changing was low, with like 1% probability.

The alternative location they have in mind is going back to London. And after the initial shock, it got me thinking. And dreaming.

Hong Kong: Pros
- the amazing friends I have made here, some of these friendships are special
- living in a high rise building with amazing views
- easy travel all over Asia
- better quality of life, 10 minute commute to work
- evening drinks on outdoor terraces gazing at HK by night.
- more intensive night life, going out every night of the week if I want to
- Thursday outings with Eddie and gang (these could also count as cons given the headache)
- better food
- the distance with the family which can be a god thing

London: Pros
- the few good friends I have left there, including yummy Tom
- long afternoons walking by the Thames, popping in and out of museums
- pub crawls
- rollerblading in the Friday Night Skates
- shopping with "normal" size clothes available
- less far to travel to visit the family - with whom I feel I need to reconnect
- cool nights out in Shoreditch, no more RnB hell!
- living in a cosy basement flat somewhere picturesque.
- the live musical scene
- probably improved odds on the Boy front

All in all, it would not be such a terrible thing. And career wise it would definitely be a plus. But still, it's hard to picture.

I am waiting to hear more on whether this is serious or not. I have not mentioned it to most of my friends here, it's too early and too improbable at this stage.

Addictions

2008-11-19T22:22:00.006+08:00

No, am not doing drugs. But here is a list of my latest addictions:

- cigarettes: I am not what I would call a smoker. But once in a while when going out, once I am drinking something, I do enjoy lighting a cigarette or two. What is freaking me out is that this week even without drinking I have had the urge to light one or two in the evenings. Am determined not to become an addicted slave to nicotine, so the new rules are: a) only if it's dark outside b) only if am drinking at the same time. Maybe rule b is silly, because I will start drinking in order to indulge my smoking craving, so I will become a cigarette addict AND an alcoholic.

- this website: http://www.somebodyelsesphone.com/. It is created by Nokia as a communication campaign. The idea is it's sort of like a sitcom. Except it's on the internet, and you follow the lives of three (fictional) people through the messages in their mobile phones. I spent hours going through their history back to October when they started it, and now can not start my day without checking first thing in the morning what Anna, Luca and Jade are up to (in that order).

- George: I think I am addicted to "catch ups" with him. I dont' want to give the impression of being a hussy, but I promise, I don't think I will ever in my life find someone with whom I have such a good connection in, erm, the bedroom. Shame we don't match in other aspects.

- complicated boy situations: tomorrow am off to have drinks with Eddie (whom I used to be interested in) and Geeky Guy (who might be interested in me) and in addition, we may bump into George (other friend of Eddie's with whom am in lust, see above, and with whom am having a secret relationship no one knows about).

- liquorice: I love it so much that I ordered a box of 3 kgs from Holland.

- the gym: in order to indulge in all of the above with a better state of mind, I have put the Ass on an intensive training programme which now has me hooked. I run 4-5 miles at least 5 times a week, not bad!

Challenge results

2008-11-17T22:15:00.003+08:00

C, Lucy and I are a little bit like the girls from "Sex in the city". Except that there is three of us, we have far less contact with men, and we don't spend a fortune on Jimmy Choos. But in essence, our conversations could practically be in the script of the show.

Before I went on vacation, I left the girls with individual challenges (see a few posts down):
- C was supposed to make contact with the Hot Neighbour
- while Lucy had to get in touch with Hot Spanish Guy with whom she had very briefly flirted a few months ago.
- I was supposed to "study Japanese men" (in Japan that is, otherwise I think there would not be much hope for me, given I hardly manage to study any sort of man here in HK ;).

The results:
- C did get in touch with Hot Neighbour, who turned out to be "boring and clingy". She agreed to go on a date with him but invited along two friends to avoid being alone with him! I have met him and don't agree that much about him being boring. I think the issue at stake is the fact he was too easy: he immediately said yes to meeting up, followed up with a deluge of messages afterwards, and all in all sounded too desperate. And that totally put C off.
Moral of this story: with men, you never win: if they are not interested enough, we hate it, if they are too interested, we hate it too.

- Lucy: she texted Hot Spanish Guy one night. One week later, we ran into him in a bar, and he sort of scooped Lucy up on his horse (well he did not have one for real, it was more of a conceptual horse, to represent prince charming who just turns up and hooks up with the princess, with a French kiss and everything). But this was not a story to last, there was something wrong with him (I can't say too much at this stage).
Moral of this story: you wait for your prince for ages, but when he turns up on his white horse and scoops you up to ride into the sunset and French kiss, it turns out there is something wrong with him.

- My study of Japanese men: am clueless! Did not get any exposure whatsoever to any specimen, apart from being on the receiving end of some very polite 90 degree bowing (I mean from random people in the street: traffic wardens, porters, etc etc).
Moral of this story: if you want to get close to a Japanese specimen for a Study of Men project, you need to approach them at a time when they let their politeness, guard and social norm rules down, eg maybe try in a nightclub at 5 am.

This said, since I am back in HK I have resumed my men study activities, and boy, I still have no conclusive results. I guess I need to study a bit harder.

Sporty Sunday

2008-11-16T09:34:00.002+08:00

What a perfect weather to go hiking.

Hiking shoes - check

Sun cream - check

Swim suit - check

4 good friens to spend a perfect day with - check

Extracts from my phone's sms history in the past week

2008-11-15T20:21:00.005+08:00

Monday
From C - To Evie
Welcome back to HK! How was Japan? Am about to jump into my flight to Europe, see you this week end when am back. X

From Evie - to C
Japan was fantastic! Spent a week walking around shrines in Kyoto, eating sushi, shopping, forgetting all the stress of work. The last WE stayed with my mate Alan, had a fab time chilling. I loved Tokyo, but it's made me realise how much I enjoy life in HK. Have a good trip and catch up this weeeeeek end.

From: George - To Evie:
Hello little miss, How was Japan? Free to catch up one of these nights?

Tuesday
From Evie - To Lucy:
Hi, did you buy those scales yet? Let's get started on our FITNESS PROGRAMME and shape our asses to incredible perfection! Btw, George texted me, am meeting him this WE for an erm, catch up. What am I doing??

From Lucy - to Evie:
Coach yes coach! I have got ithe scales and it's not a pretty result :(. Stop worrying about George, if you like "catching up" with him where is the harm in that?? Carpe Diem Evie..

From Evie - to George:
Hello Sir. It would be great to catch up. See you Sunday night at that Italian place, 9 pm?

From Evie - to NW Waxing Boutique
Hi, do you have a slot for me for Saturday afternoon please? Thanks, Evie.

Friday
From Evie - to Lucy, C
Hello Girls! We have survived another week, wuuuhhh. See you tonight at 10 pm at the Mes Amis bar in Wanchai. Then we'll head out to Central.

From C - to Evie
We are in. I sooo need a drink, my boss has been giving me more hell.

Later that night
From C - To Evie:
Where are you? I am outside, being chatted up by this incredible Cute Guy. A. Man. Talking. With. Me. :). Guess what? Just saw Eddie walk inside the bar!

Even later that night
From Evie - to Lucy
Sooooo, let's open the bets, will C score with Cute Guy?? Have a safe journey home, I am dead!

From Lucy - To Evie
I think she will ;-). And you missie, did a good job of ignoring Eddie. What a douche bag.

A Japanese challenge

2008-11-05T22:56:00.003+08:00

I am standing outside the bar in Tokyo. Feeling a bit stupid. It's too late to go back now. John has already gone inside, 3 minutes have passed, and now I need to go in too.
Flash back 15 minutes earlier. John, who has really liked my idea of giving challenges to people, gave me one:
J: Evie, I challenge you
E: Yeah? I don't care, I am ready to do anything, ANYTHING
J: We are going to a bar, walk in at an interval of 3 mins from each other, and pretend not to know each other. The first one who manages to speak to someone wins.
E: Eeeeeeeekkkkkk no no no, walking into a bar alone is my pet phobia.
J: Tough! Besides, you will not be alone, I will be there, pretending not to know you.

Initially I kept saying no but then John said I was a whimp, and that living a life without challenging oneself was pointeless (MY line!) etc etc. So I started to feel like a whimp indeed and I gave in..

So, we chose a posh expat style of bar. I walked in. The maitre d' guy immediately greeted me and inquired how many people were in my party. I was too embarassed to say one, so said "one for now but my friends are joining me later" (all this while being bright red from embarassment).
The layout was not ideal, there was a large bar, and then a whole lot of cosy little sets with low tables and comfy chairs, where people were huddled, mostly in couples. Nice.
I was led to the bar, which I felt was very reassuring, because sitting there alone was a bit less stupid than at a cosy table and sofas set.
And actually, the guy sitting next to me at the bar was... John. I started to laugh a bit but the muppet pretended not to know me and paid me no attention. I stiffled my giggles, and asked in a very at-easy-posh-I-have-no-problem-being-here-on-my-own voice for a cocktail menu from the barman. After ordering my drink, I started to feel self conscious, so fidgeted with my bag to find some cigarettes.
And then I thought this is stupid, call me a whimp, but there is no way I am going to walk up to one of those cosy coupled up tables and talk to them. So I turned around to John and said:
- Excuse me, do you have a light please?
- No, sorry
- Ok the shit show is over
- Pardon me? I don't know you, what did you say?
- Come on John, let's cut the crap. Besides, I won
- What do you mean you won Evie, you have been giggling here on your own, and the only person you spoke to, aside from the barman, is me, to ask for a light.
- Exactly. The challenge was "the first one to speak to someone wins". You are someone. I spoke to you first. I win.
-??!

Challenge time

2008-10-24T00:44:00.002+08:00

I am away for a bit over a week, and with my friends Lucy and C we made a pact, or rather set ourselves some challenges:
- Lucy has two whole week ends to reconnect with Juan, a Spanish guy we met months ago and whom we have lost touch with. We met him and his group of friends a couple of months ago and Juan seemed to show some interest in her, but then we all lost contact. So she is supposed to try to meet up with them again and get the Spanish gang connection going again. After my memories of Fernando the hot beach buddy last summer, that sounds like a very nice project..
- C has a new neighbour who moved into her building. They met at the pool a few weeks ago (very handy for checking out all the goods in advance, hoho) and they have been texting a bit since.. Her challenge is to have a drink with him during my absence..
- My challenge for the week is to "check out Japanese men". And it's up to me to interpret what I mean by "checking out"..

Just a perfect day

2008-10-23T00:46:00.002+08:00

Today was not totally perfect, but not too far off.
First I went to meet a recruiter to discuss a new job. The chances of me getting it are quite slim, which is fine, as that job would pay less than my current one. I am not in a rush to find something super fast, but it's good to get practicing doing interviews etc. I hope in the next few months I can find something though..
Then I went lunch time shopping with C. One of the department stores in town had a super sale on. I did not buy anything, but retail therapy even if for the eyes is always a good thing, well for girls anyway..
And then I had a small party at mine for a friend's birthday. We drank, ate, chatted, took silly pictures. A perfect way to end a Wednesday night (week end outings are over rated, I am all for mid week madness now).
I am flying out on vacation to Japan early on Friday and have no where near packed yet. Seeing I am going out tomorrow night as well, it looks like it will be another one of those panic packings the morning of the departure..
Oh well it's good to take life 1 relaxed step at a time..

Peace recovered

2008-10-20T22:02:00.005+08:00

So, let's try to make this a boy trouble free zone for a few days:

I've just emerged from one of those blissful week ends, where you end up falling asleep with a smile of contentment on your lips. And then 30 mins after you fall into a super deep sleep your friend C rings your phone and you forgot to put it on silent so it wakes you in that deep sleep stage:

- DRIIIIIING (that was the phone ringing)

- Evie: "Ghhaarrghhhaaah?"

- C: "Evie? Darn! Did I wake you up?"

- Evie, struggling to wake up and say something meaningful: "Why are the snowflakes so red in the snakey pie?"

- C: "Eeeeerm, ok, sorry for waking you up, speak to you tomorrow"

- Evie: "Ok, please put the toast back in the oven ok?"

- C: "Oooookkaaayyy".

I like to go out on Friday nights because it leaves you two days to recover, and even though initially it's a bit hard to drag yourself out after a day of work, in the end it's after another long day that you really appreciate going out painting the town red. And that is what I did, to celebrate the birthday of a friend.

Saturday, instead of my usual "wwwwooorrffff I am too tired" I put my hiking shoes, no, Jesus-type-sandals and hit the hills of Lantau for a power hike. Nothing better to clear the lungs and head from a hungover, though also nothing better to zonk you out. Hence Saturday night I went to bed early (for a Saturday) and slept like a baby.

Sunday I headed out to the beach. I love this city, in 30 mins you can get to one super easily. There I visited some friends who just had a baby, and marvelled at how this bump I had been getting used to seeing on my friend's belly had now become a really cute little baby. Ah the cycle of life, blahblahblah.

And now, am getting ready for the holiday of a lifetime, am hitting the craziness of Tokyo and Kyoto in a few days, part travelling or staying with friends, part exploring solo. And my feet are already itching to get on the road..

Silly silly Evie

2008-10-16T22:25:00.003+08:00

Man, sometimes I think I am just so stupid. How could I get the whole thing with these two guys get into my head so much?

Oh the irony. The irony that after a year of virtually no male attention I get in a situation where I meet two at once.
Oh the irony. That one of them is only a physical sort of relationship where as the one I really like is actually not so interested.
Oh the irony. That on the way to George's place earlier this week I ran into Eddie who suggests we meet up for drinks a few days later.
Oh the irony. That when that day comes he cancels at the last minute, while my head got into a spin from anticipation of that evening.

Therefore, the new resolution is, this time I am really really really giving up these two, they are driving me way too nuts.

On a separate note, I really do believe that being too available to a guy's eyes makes the chase uninteresting which is ikely to make him give up. I think I've been way too easy and approachable in all the situations I've been lately, time to put the leash on.

The love triangle continueth

2008-10-13T22:18:00.003+08:00

And then it happened again. I was out at a club with some friends, and to be honest the choice of club was not innocent, Eddie had hinted strongly he would be there. The moment he arrived I felt very nervous, trying hard (but making it look totally effortless) to be witty, funny, flirty. We did have a really good time but I don't know, we were missing a certain je ne sais quoi.. In contrast with his text messages insisting we try to meet up that night, his attitude was quite aloof and I did not get that much sense of him being anything more than a mate.

Then of course George walked into the club, with a GIRL. We had the same ackward moments of looking at each other knowingly while still paying attention to our respective friends (and him his date). Even though the one thing I wanted more than anything was to go out with Eddie, I still felt a pang of jealousy that George was there with someone else. Who said girls were rational??
Anyhow, he (George) ended up leaving with the Girl, while I stayed a bit for some conversation with Eddie. As it was an outing on a school night I left at a reasonable hour. Overall what I got after that night was a very bad hangover and a huge sense of frustration that I was making no progress whatsoever with Eddie. Why was he being so non-active?

I spent the week end over analyzing the situation, and ended up deciding to avoid contact with either boy, until I figured things out.
Until today. Because George texted me suggesting we "meet up" tomorrow. And I know it makes no sense to say yes because it's going nowhere. But also it makes no sense to not say yes, as imagining the evening with him makes me go wobbly in the knees. I am so weak..

I am not that hot.

2008-10-09T00:18:00.002+08:00

In the past few months I have been super hot. I mean really. In HK as a matter of fact it's very easy to look hot. You just need to open your front door and step outside. There, you are hot. Your armpits start to get profusely sweaty, and your face becomes all shiny despite the copious amounts of carefully laid down matifying-heat-repelling-foundation-powder-thingy.
But not anymore.
The gods of the weather have been angered. They've taken away the heat in HK. What is this feeling of comfort and not being super hot and sweaty while walking in the street anymore??

Mischief galore

2008-10-07T22:07:00.003+08:00

I am still deep in the web of man trouble I have waved for myself, which is a great distraction from my job situation which continues to remain a bit uncertain. The latter does not really worry me deeply because I know that next year is not the stupid year of the Rat anymore and that things will end up working out one way or another..

So in the past couple of weeks I have continued to see George. And I don't mean in a "let's have civilized dinner dates" way, let's say our rapport has been slipping more into the "Friend with Benefits" category.. We don't call or text each other regularly, except to arrange the next meet up. And we both agree on the fact neither of us wants anything more out of it. I would never have imagined I could sustain something like that, but our level of complicity at night matches our incompatibility during the day, so it's just fallen in place naturally. We are two perfectly happy single people with not much in common but who do enjoy the company of each other once in a while for night time play dates.. I know I know, these types of situations are notoriously dangerous as one party might get hurt by starting to get attached, but I have a feeling we are both too detached for it to be a risk at present.

Flashforward to a couple of days ago. I met Eddie (who had totally disappeared off the radar screen in the meantime) on my way home from work. He asked wether I wanted to join him and some mates for drinks later in the evening, so I decided to go along. I recruited my friend Lucy to come with me. When we entered the bar, we discovered that Eddie was sitting there with a couple of other guys, including.. George! Given no one (except Lucy) knows about us we pretended to just greet each other like two people who had vaguely met before, it was quite exciting actually.. The dictionary definition of Ackward should be based on the tension in the air that night.. And so here I was sitting with on my left George who was throwing some very saucy looks my way, while trying to talk to Eddie normally on my right. While Lucy was trying not to choke into her Corona beer from repressed laughter at the whole situation..
I really enjoy talking to Eddie though, we have so much more in common and the same sense of humour. I just wish he would show some level of interest in me too, at least it would clear the whole situation with regards to the triangle with George. If I knew Eddie was interested it would be pointless if not plain cruel to keep seeing George any longer. Incidentally, they are not really friends, more like mates part of the same group of friends.
Anyhow, let's see how the Dramatic Events unfold during the rest of the month, I can foresee more intrigue to come..

Confusions

2008-09-28T14:36:00.002+08:00

So to sum up, there are two men: Eddie, just-a-friend, whom I've met up with a couple of times lately and from I never got seduction vibes until recently (I think). And then there is George, a friend (more like acquaintance) of Eddie's with whom I have already exchanged more than just seduction vibes.. Am a bit confused around what is going on with both of these projects.
So, I had a master plan: Thursday night I was supposed to see Eddie (for casual drinks), and Saturday night George (for a 2nd date). The plan was to work out on Thursday if there was something going on between Eddie and I, so that I could make a decision before Saturday on what to do with George.
Unfortunately, Thursday I did not manage to catch up with Eddie properly for logistics reasons. He did invite me to join his group of friends at a party (positive sign), but I could not make it because I was at another party and I have not heard from since (negative sign).
I did however end up meeting with George last night. I've had a confirmation of my initial instinct that he is not really the long term sort of material, but in the meantime it's quite fun to have a little side project. And I don't have the feeling of leading anyone astray as he seems to have the same view and to be someone looking more for snacks than main courses at the moment..

Will I stay or will I go?

2008-09-24T09:03:00.002+08:00

Something has come up. Not something relating to life and death, or health, but rather something has come up with my job situation. I can't tell more at this stage but it turns out in a few weeks there is a chance I may need to make big decisions: look for a new job here in HK or kick myself in the Ass and get my backpack and travel the world as I have been dreaming for a while. Suspense..

In the meantime, I continue working on my various men projects. And Thursday will be the night! I am going out and plan on meeting up with Eddie, and finding out a bit more about where we stand. Am hoping things will become much more clear: is any interest on his part or not? (Even more Suspense, it's killing me!!).

Boy trouble

2008-09-21T21:28:00.003+08:00

A couple of weeks ago I met up with my friend Eddie from back home. We went to the same school years ago, and were never particularly friends back then, and never kept in touch after, but once I moved to HK a mutual friend told me he was also living here so we started to hang around a bit.
He is a good looking guy with a taste of excentricity and the absurd. He is always a little bit dismissive, as if nothing could really impress him. I suspect he has dozens of "girl" projects on the go simultaneously. With respect to me, I never sensed any seduction vibes from him at all.
Anyhow, when I met up with him last time we ended up in a nightclub (and this was on a school night! my need to let out steam is becoming dangerous). At the club I started dancing with a very cute but also very drunk friend of Eddie's, to whom I ended up surrendering my phone number. Let's call him George.
One week later, George texts me and we agree to go on a date. This is a historical moment people. I have never been on a true date before, ie asked out by a stranger. All my other relationships have started from knowing the person first via a friendship stage.
Let's just say that the date with George went very well. He is not prime material for a serious relationship at all, so at the moment am figuring out that to do with him..
But I sense trouble in this story. Because lately I have been receiving lots of invitations from Eddie to meet up for drinks, clubbing or going hiking, which is very odd given how aloof he usually is. What if he was also interested?? I can feel an odd love triangle situation coming up..

Organizilla

2008-08-30T09:32:00.002+08:00

I am organizing a party tonight. I have invited every single person I know in HK. Now I am worried that each of these persons will also have invited every person they know in HK. And so on.

I hate organising events because I end up getting stressed. I am not a control freak who likes to plan through every detail and then smugly knows everything is under control, but then knowing there is so much stuff left to chance always worries me to bits. But on the other hand I also love organising events, it gives me a buzz and it's coming from the social butterfly in me. Usually I have these waves of Organizilla taking over, I throw events, dinners, gatherings. Then I need a few months to recover from the stress of it and each time swear to myself I will never do anything like that again. Then a few months/weeks later I get bitten by the bug again and get organizing.

Tonight will be the perfect opportunity to celebrate the fact we are coming to the close of August, the month I will always remember as Man Month 2008. Because in September I reckon we are going back to the norm.

Can you get burnt by human warmth?

2008-08-27T23:47:00.003+08:00

I wake up. Look at my alarm. It's 4 am. I take in the view of the Hong Kong skyline through my curtainless window, blurred through my short sighted eyes. I shut my eyes but a restlessness seizes me and I know I will not be falling asleep for a while. The emptiness takes over. I can see myself though an imaginary camera's eye, lying all alone in my bed, in a building full of people; it's strange how you can feel lonely in such a crowded place.

I have no wish right now to have a toothbrush partner in my life, with whom I would wake up each day, and fall asleep with after the usual arguments and mundaine conversations about who needs to remember to buy toothpaste the next day. I just wish I could press a button in those moments, in the middle of the night, and summon a presence to occupy the empty space next to me in my bed, holding me tight in his arms. Just for an hour or so, that is all.

The August Man Effect

2008-08-20T21:46:00.007+08:00

Well, here we are, I was complaining about the lack of testosterone-producing elements in my life, and I think in the last couple of weeks I got a dozeful enough to last the next six months, through a common phenomenon known as the August Man Effect:

- My father: I called him and said ok I was ready to meet him, why not Saturday lunch. He said "Uh Saturday I will need to check if I can take time off at lunch". Hello?? Last time I saw him was zillions of years ago and he does not know if he can take out one hour for lunch? Anyway, then we agreed to meet up on Sunday night for dinner. A couple of hours before he texted me and asked if it was ok to bring a colleague. Hello?? Last time I saw him was zillions of years ago and maybe it would have been nice to catch up just the two of us. Fortunately, my levels of expectations are bottom low withregards to him so nothing could have really disappointed me seriously. So we met, chatted, mostly about the weather, his job, my job, his colleague's job. And then I called it a night. I'll probably see him again in a couple of zillions of years. End of story.

- My step father: he has been sending me silly emails asking me to resolve family stuff I have nothing to do with and will not go near to with a 200 foot pole (is that the proper expression?). I have been ignoring him and his emails and take strength in the knowledge that I am an adult, free, and way too far away for anyone to force me into dealing with anything right now.

- The date-ables:
1) the is-this-a-date-lunch date: So I had this lunch with someone I met at a friend's party. We work in the same building so arranged to meet up. It very actually a friendly and chatty sort of lunch, both of us trying to figure out if the other thought it was a date. I did not think so, and I did not feel he did either. But then one week later he emailed me asking me to have lunch together again, so either it was a date, or he just thinks I am the most entertaining lunch buddy in the world.. Anyhow, he is out of the country at present so we will find out more later..
2) the Facebook date: out of the blue this guy started getting in touch through Facebook. I am not that keen on this cyber space dating thing, but then I decided it was the August Man Effect sending him my way, so I might meet him in person in a few days.
3) the Naked Guy in My Sofa: ok this one is false advertising. There might very possibly be a semi naked in my sofa in a few days, but it's a friend of a friend who needs a place to crash for the next few days, and I am hosting him. He is cute as heck though. Ah yes and totally gay.
4) The Fickle Neighbour: this is the guy who sort of asked me on a date before I went on vacation, then when I returned from vacation I spied he had a new girlfriend (I can see into his living room without particularly trying). Well last week, I bumped into him as he was walking out of his front door, and I glimpsed a guy in underwear in his flat. The mystery around him thickens..
5) the Lover: I think I may have a lover. I know you are supposed to call them that only if you are married and it's not the case, but nevertheless, I am pretty confident that technically that is what he is. I have a Lover.

Email from the genitor

2008-08-10T21:36:00.004+08:00

My patience is beeing pushed to its limits by the men in my life. Or rather my mother's men. First there is my "so called step father" who suddenly appeared out of the blue not long ago asking me for money. And now an email from my father.
The last time I saw him was probably around 2001. All in all I must have seen him about 5 times in my life. He does not know much about me, I think my aunt and grandmother whom I keep in touch with give him some news about me once in a while.
I did send him an email about 6 months ago giving an update on my life, more details about my new life in Hong Kong and in general a message saying it's not because we have not been in touch that much that we can't reconnect. Did he reply? Of course not. Not because he has anything against me, but probably because each time he started to write back he got lazy, or did not what to say, and then something came up etc etc.
Anyhow, last week I get a message saying:

Hi!

I am coming to HongKong next week, attending trade show. Staying in XYZ Hotel.

Hope you are there and would love to see you.

[Insert genitor name]

So basically he writes to me with 4 day's notice, as if he did not know months ago he was coming to town, and rather remembered as an after thought to drop me a line to tell me. And he drops exactly 2 lines, as if we were some sort of casual friends who saw each other a couple of months ago.

Am really hesitating between playing dead and totally ignoring him on one hand, or meeting him but briefly on the other. I have no anger towards him so the meeting would be very civil and polite and we would have lots to talk about, but the question, what would really be the point?

One last time, I promise

2008-08-08T20:22:00.005+08:00

Letter to Le Poulet - Basically this is the last time we will hear about him (on the blog and in my life) as I am planning to send him this. And it's time to move on.

Le Poulet,

Today we saw each other in order for you to give me the last pieces of stuff that I had left over at yours. Symbolic moment of "Basically this is it".

I never want to hear from you again, nor see you again. No more emails asking how I am and if I like this city. If any friends we have in common come and visit well they can make their own arrangements to contact us respectively without needing us to be in touch. If we bump into each other as is inevitable in a small place like this, we can acknowledge each other's presence, but really there is no need for any further communication, which would only make us both hypocrits.

I've never told you this, and it's taken over a year for me to write you this, but now is a good time, as I have enough distance regarding the situation, it's all water under the bridge now. For me, you will always be a huge disappointment. We could have been something great. What we had most people spend their life time looking for. You can not deny it was special. But you, and only you with your psychological unrest and messed up way of looking at life have destroyed it all. And for that I will forever hate you.

You are like a rotten fruit: you had all the ingredients and elements to be a great person, to make something constructive out of life. But then something bad got into your inner being and made you cynical, unable to connect to people, and overall an arsehole. Unble to give nor receive anything from anyone.

Don't get me wrong, I have no wish to be together again, on the contrary am quite relieved it's all over. Because the rotten you is not someone I (or any other person on this earth) could have had a full blossoming relationship with, one of those where you feel you are strong together to face the world.

For what my advice is worth, I don't see any positive outcome for your personal life. You will probably end up with some woman (or several) only interested in your social status and money (especially in this part of the world) - remember this when you will sit with her in a luxury resort staring at each other's face without having anything to say to each other. Maybe you will break an extra heart or two on the way, as usual without feeling any guilt or putting yourself into question. By all means, enjoy that superficial empty life.

If I had a choice I would probably chose not to have ever met you, though there is one single positive outcome from our relationship: my move to Hong Kong. To answer your question, I love it here, I have found my natural equilibrium and for that I am glad.

Anyhow, that is that, now you know why I don't have any desire to meet you for lunch, and why I don't want to receive any more emails, text messages, or phone calls from you. All that is left to say is "Have a nice life". (I am tempted to add "and eat shit and die" but that might spoil the tone).

Evie

PS - The only reason you will need to get in touch with me again is to return those pictures to me, which I gave to you in a moment of trust, and of love, which I now regret. I should hope you would have had enough of being an arsehole and would return them out of respect for me. I am not one of your whores from your collection.

Sleepless but maybe not dateless

2008-07-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

I tried to go to bed an hour ago. Because I don't have curtains in my bedroom, (only in my living room to prevent the Evil Fickle Neighbour from Next Door form seeing in my flat) I can see the full HK skyline by night. And as I look at it, even all blurry without my glasses on, I think: "DARN I love this city". And then I get all happy and then it makes it impossible to fall asleep.
That and maybe the heat plays a part.

My Friday night turned out quite interesting, as I met some nice new faces at a friend's house do. I may potentially-maybe-sort-of-on-a-coincidence-possibly have lunch with one of them next week, though have not yet worked out if it's a sort of date or not, to be continued..

Listening to my colleague the chances are on my side:
- Colleague: "Hey, Evie, are you married yet?"
- Evie, choking on her dim sum: "HHKR What? No way mate, I am not even close to scoring anything resembling a boyfriend at this stage".
- Colleague: "No WAY, that is impossible, I can not even believe it!!"
- Evie, manifestly fishing for compliments: "Why is that, dear colleague?"
- Colleague: "Because you smile a lot!".

Huh?

In the Fifth dimension

2008-07-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

Hold on a minute, was it the "4th dimension" or the "5th dimension" again? Anyhow, I don't recall what the technical expression is, but I am defintiely what feels like in the zillionth dimension. I've come back to a very different Hong Kong than the one I left from. Things have changed a lot, and I am left with an amused smile observing it all from a bit of a distance:

- Work: In the space of a few short weeks, a few people have resigned, some already left, others have taken other people's jobs, some people who used to be each other's enemies are now allies, old allies are now enemies, and I need to fit all these pieces of the puzzle together. As a policy I don't do office politics so am not affected, but neverthess it's important to understand the dynamics!
- Friends: One of my best HK friends left the country over my absence. It was planned, I was prepared, but MAN, I miss her. Those lazy brunches, analysing men (unsuccessfully), those nights trying to get her drunk (semi successfully), those discussions where I was trying to help her make a sense out of her life choices (75% successfully). Another of my top 3 friends may have a new job offer back in Europe, which makes me happy for her but sad to think of this place without her. And lastly, my two best single friends are on dates now. Which is great given we have been clearly unsuccessful in establishing any form of communication contact with any members of the opposite sex in the past few months (years?). On the other hand it makes me freak out, what if I am the last single standing in a few weeks? (Selfish I know, but nevertheless scary)
- Dating: The simultaneous advantage and disadvantage of being potentially dating your next door neighbour is that if he has a found a new girlfriend in the space of 4 weeks while you were away you can immediately see it (thanks to the direct view into his living room from your flat). The downside is that it can be disappointing but the upside is that you know where you stand! It amuses me more than anything given we had spoken about twice and it's not like I had time to get any expectations up..

Thank god the social life is still on at full speed, going to a house party on Friday, to see a show on Saturday and sleeping off the shock of all these new changes on Sunday.

Back to square one

2008-07-20T01:31:00.014+08:00

Am back to square one. Or rather, make it "back to Terminal 3 of Heathrow". I am sitting in the exact same spot where I was one year ago (give or take 5 days), in July 2007 when I logged into this blog from the Cathay Pacific Lounge to share my excitement and apprehension (yes, I am a lounge lady, thank you all the business travel airmiles).
One year ago I was leaving my London life behind, with no idea whatsoever in terms of what to expect next. Knowing I would not see my friends for a long time made me a little bit sad that day one year ago (like now), but I was also very excited about the new life that was about to start at the time.
Today am feeling something similar, but today my destination is not unknown, as a matter of fact it's even very familiar. This time I already know who I will hang out with for nights out in town, gossiping, and shooting the breeze in general. I know who I will have long coffee breaks with in the office after even longer and intense days of work. I know what exactly I will spend my days doing in the office. I know what the place I live in looks like (am now itching to take in that view again) rather than being a vague idea in my imagination. That day I did not have anyone waiting for me, whereas now I even had several "When are you back in town? We miss you" messages .
I am much more self confident as well. Overall, I have found a new level of happiness and zen which I was clearly lacking at the time.
Most importantly, that day last year I was very preoccupied with asking myself whether moving to Hong Kong was a mistake or not. Today I definitely know the answer to that (given the little tear-in-the-corner-of-my-eye tone of this post clearly the answer is "of course is not").

I've been away from Hong Kong travelling for a month now, I never imagined I would miss that crazy little place that much. I am looking forward to picking up my life from where I left it in June and continuing the Evie-ness. Starting with a date with my next door neighbour who asked me out a few days before I left. Pretty good start no?

Week End Debrief

2008-06-02T22:22:00.003+08:00

Last night, in the middle of the night, I was lying in my bed feeling happy. For several reasons:

- A storm was raging outside, and it was the reason I had woken up at 5 am. It was impressive, with thunder and lightening (and I even counted the seconds between them and most of the time they were simultaneous, ie the storm was in DA HOUSE). As I have no curtains I could just see it lying from my bed, I even put on my glasses to watch it better.

- I had a feeling of happy exhaustion in my body from a hyper active week end. On the Saturday I had spent the day on a boat where I did a bit of wakeboarding (hence happy muscle exhaustion feeling). And on the Sunday I had woken up super early to go training in the gym. That and the pre-storm heat of the day had totally drained me.

- I had socialised quite a lot over the week end and thoroughly enjoyed it: Friday night drinks with some fellow expats, the boat on Saturday where I met some new faces and reconnected with old ones, the karaoke where I sang like my life depended on it, coffee with my friend J on Sunday with some fun and silly girl talk that could be out of Sex In The City.

- A long week end to look forward to in a few days, heading out to the beach with two friends with whom we are planning to do sod all and bask in the sun.

Yeah, could be worse.

Escape

2008-05-31T00:02:00.003+08:00

I need to come clean about this.

A few days ago I may have downloaded a couple of songs by Enrique Iglesias on my Ipod.

But let me explain. Those songs, especially "Escape", make me smile wherever I am, whatever I am doing, even in the darkest of moods.

(Sometimes I even listen to "Escape" about 9 times before falling asleep). But it will be our little secret, ok?

Time to get wild again

2008-05-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

My NSE fiasco of last week end is not going to stop me, I am getting ready for a new fun and hyperactive week end.
A gilr I met at a friend's party when I arrived in HK 7 months has invited me on a big junk boat trip tomorrow. I will be going with my best buddy C, totally determined to have a fun day out rain-bathing, wake boarding and daring to show the Ass in a swim suit. (tomorrow will be the acid test to see if I am able to strip into swimming gear). There should be a few people I met at that girl's party at the time and should be fun. The concept of junk boat is to rent a huge boat for 10 to 40 people, sail around Hong Kong, swim in the sea, chat, dance, etc etc. Only in HK..
In the evening I shall hit the famous HK karaoke scene. The concept is to rent a room with a bunch of friends and sing and dance like there is no tomorrow. At least I hope there is no tomorrow after that because my singing migh cause the most dreadful thunderstorms (proven effect).
Sunday is Ass shaping day with 2 hours of gym at 10 am, then a short stop in the Torture Room (also known as Bikini Waxing for most people) followed by 1.5 hours of swimming pooling with a group of fun girls.
By Sunday evening I should be ready to pass out on my couch, happy, muscle toned (but not as much as Madonna) and full of excitement thanks to the various encounters of the week end.

Payback time

2008-05-28T21:33:00.010+08:00

Just when I thought my life could not get any more embarassing..

Last night I was peacefully walking down the street to meet my friend C, when I realised the guy walking towards me in my direct path looked familiar. He was firmly staring at the floor. Either because he was studying the colour scheme of concrete floors in the Central area, or because he was trying to avoid me recognising him as it was too late to deviate his path discreetly. Looking closer, it dawned on me: it was Bar Guy! The very guy I had met this Saturday in a bar and who had mysteriously disappeared in the course of the evening after a particularly bad kiss (see Pulling Experiment Number 1 below).

My mind started to go blank and panic as it always does in situations like these where I am counting on it. The issue is, I have recently developed a policy to never avoid people I know, even vaguely, and force myself to say hi. This self inforced policy allows me to automatically develop my sociability skills, I've regretted too many times before my shyness. So my preprogrammed brain sent a message to my mouth, to shout out:
- Hey! Bar Guy!
At that point my eyes widened in horror, what on earth was I doing??
Bar Guy practically slapped his forehead in frustration, after all this effort of staring at the ground and making himself totally invisible, I had noticed him! (The schmuck!)

The conversation went along the lines of:
Bar Guy: Oh hiiiiiiiiiii
Evie: Hiiiiiiiiii
Silence
BG: How are you?
E: Great, thanks. And you?
BG: Fine.
Silence
E: Hope the hangover was not too harsh... I think I may still be a little bit drunk from Saturday.
BG: Har har (forced laugh). Me too.
Silence
E: Hm okay, see ya!
BG: Er yeah, see you later.

Why can't I live in an anonymous city where this sort of thing does NOT keep happening to me?

Pulling experiment number 1: NSE

2008-05-25T19:55:00.012+08:00

Last night I had an NSE: Near Sex Experience. (Not to be confused with NDE, Near Death Experience).

Let us go back in time to the series of events that lead to it.

Having recently decided to open my horizons I had accepted an invitation to a high profile expat dinner that night, where I only knew one person. Scary experience but good for getting-out-of-the-shell motivation. There I met a couple of girls who invited me to join them to go to someone's birthday do in a bar. The bar had a really good vibe, it was heaving with good music and people, the atmosphere was very joyous. Even the barstaff were joining in the fun, drinking and handing out free shots left, right, and centre. And to be honest by that point, after a lovely meal and lots of fine wine we were also in a party mood..

Out of nowhere, I struck up a conversation with one of the dashing young men of the birthday group (a friend of my friends') who was hovering near me staring at my handbag for some reason. And the conversation lasted and lasted and lasted. He was not a great conversationalist but I was*, and given my recent project of understanding men I thought I might as well take advantage of the opportunity to observe this specimen in detail. Besides, given my recent despair of ever meeting men again, I was quite suprised he was talking to me so long. Plus of course he was super hot.

Anyhow, at some point we realised that all the other people in our respective groups had left, and I suggested we change bars. In the new place, while sharing a bottle of wine, we conversed some more, with me doing most of the talking again from I recall.
The very confusing thing about the experiment, is that clearly I generated some kind of interest in him. But on the other side, I could not understand what he was after: it didn't feel like he was trying to find out more about my mesmerising personality. And it was not either that he was trying to get in my pants, as he was not particularly enterprising. In any case I thought I would just wait and see how things would develop, all in the name of scientific experimantation of course (I can be selfless like that sometimes).

After litterally hours, he ended up kissing me. But very briefly, carefully, as if nearly against his will?? It's the first time this has happened to me, because in my limited kissing experience (kissing CV available on request), usually when a situation like this has been working up towards a kiss, the air is static with sexual tension and when the kiss finally happens it is a moment of small sparks. But not in this case, this felt like a half assed kiss.
Anyhow, I was curious to push the experiment further, and suggested we finish the bottle of wine at home (a little forward you may argue but here again I was only investigating in the name of science). So we walked up to my building, and just at the point of going into the lift, he gave me a peck on the cheek, handed me the bottle of wine, and walked out.

WTF? The evening had been so weird until that point that I was not even very shocked, or disappointed. I was more amused, but at the same time puzzled. The only rational explanation is that he was gay. Or more realistically, that he had a girlfriend. And the scary thing is, the last three men I've kissed turned out to have girlfriends. Is that coincidence, or am I a magnet for unavailable men?

In any case it has proven that I need to investigate a lot more because at the moment am still totally cluless in my "Understanding Men" Project.

* Given that I was trying to keep the conversation flowing but stuggling a bit, and given by the end I had consumed quite a large amount of wine, I may have uttered phrases along the lines of:
- "What is your favorite place in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite restaurant in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite bar in HK?"
- "Do you feel threatened by strong independant women"?
- "Do you want to bring that bottle of wine upstairs so I can show off my incredibly trendy new wine glasses?".
Note to self: avoid all of the above at the next conversational experiment.

Am I on the path of becoming a nun?

2008-05-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

Lately I have been trying to picture myself in a new relationship. But I simply can't. I love being able to have all my time for me, planning my evenings, weeks, months independantly. Sure, when I see couples buying toothbrushes together in supermarkets I sometimes wish I too had someone who would come with me to do that mundane sort of shopping. But then on the other side if I was with someone I would not do half of the stuff I am doing and I would not meet all the people I am meeting now.

Plus it's kind of weird to imagine myself with someone I don't know; I don't have a "type" so if I ever meet someone again, they could be anything: a blond airplane pilot, a red headed struggling artist, a Chinese fashion designer, a French chef?

Hong Kong is a bit of a strange place in terms of opportunities to meet men. The atmosphere is very hedonistic. But I think with some effort nothing is impossible. With some of my single friends we have decided to try to experiment a bit to understand better how it all works because to be honest we are clueless. We are not the types to put on super big cleavage and pull men in bars. So we have decided to try out different ranges of places, test how being more extraverted and talking to people makes any difference, well basically have a bit of men and opening up some horizons. I shall report on how that goes.

In the meantime, back into the palace of singledom for me..

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

2008-05-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

Sentences such as the above are cheesy as heck but there are days, like today, when they are meaningful.
After nearly a week of singing to the tune of internal Blues I've decided to give a kick up the Ass and suck it up. (I am not saying I want to suck up my own derriere, uuugggggg, I mean get on with life).
I have thus recovered my motivation at work, resumed driving my colleagues mad with my jokes, and started going to the gym again. In about 1.5 month's time I will be enjoying the famed London Summer and am planning on looking stunning, absolutely freakin' stunning! And that is not going to happen while sitting on the aforementioned-Ass feeling sorry for myself.

No more muscles

2008-05-20T22:38:00.004+08:00

Some days I feel like I have no more muscles left in my body. I feel very close to just collapsing on the floor, in one small little heap. (Little heap but with a big ass, harhar).
This morning was one of those days. I went to the gym to work out with my personal trainer-terror. Except this morning I did not have any strength whatsoever. Even the presence of Muscle Guy, my cute colleague who often has the misfortune of working out at the same time as me and witnessing my monkeying on the muscle machines, did not give me any extra woooompf. Every exercise I attempted, I would stuggle, unable to lift even the smaller sized weights.

Three quarters of the way through the session I made up an excuse and told the trainer-terror I needed to leave early, and ended up sobbing in the bathroom. The worst of it is that I have no idea why. Well ok there are like a million reasons (Le Poulet, dysfunctional family, job worries) but these reasons have always been there so why the dark clouds today? No idea. Maybe it's the weather, which is as beautiful as my mood today.

Enough of that rubbish

2008-05-19T21:47:00.001+08:00

So in the past two months I've been trying to re-bring to life the impressions of a week end long gone by, which have been harder and harder to capture as time has passed To cut the long drawn out process of trying to tell the tale: I ended up not going to the boat trip, but instead to the bbq - it was lovely, nothing super exciting to report but nevertheless just a simple fun day. The whole week end was a simple fun one, the type that leaves a big smile on your face for a little bit after it's over.
So yes, it was a complicated process to tell that tale. To be fair, I've not been at home a lot lately - been travelling a lot, and not just in plain "boring" places (boring by HK standards) like Thailand. No, I've been to the land of cheeseburgers, Levi's Jeans and Obama Clinton. Other things I have been up to:

- cancelling my Match Dot Com subscription after receiving offers for "3000 dollars for a night of sex". What freaked me out was not so much the offer as the fact that for about one tenth of a second I thought about it (hmm, me, in dire need of a man?). More seriously I could not be bothered with the whole online chatting, at least not having a subscription avoids potential disappointment

- going, coming back and recovering from jet lag to the States. It was an amazing trip, I saw Lil' Sis and my mother, went to a few comedy shows, ate like a gigantic whale..

- sitting on a beach and not daring to get up for the fear of the Ass making an ass out of me (get the pun, get it, get it? hahaha, I may have been away but my sense of humour is intact)

- avoiding getting fired, in an environment of dire global market slowdown. So far so good but I keep remembering "never say never".

- having two friends staying over, the first one came back from a 4 month back packing trip and considering breaking up with her boyfriend. The second one was sleeping on my couch because she had just broken up with her boyfriend. (See a pattern here? Heartbreak High is NOT in Australia contrary to what TV leds you to believe, it's actually in HK, in a high rise apartment building overlooking the city's skyline).

- avoiding Le Poulet like the plague. And I must admit, am not very proud of it, but I never wished him happy birthday last month, which made me a little bit happy. I am saddo drawing pleasure from it.

- listening obsessively to songs. Not a whole bunch of songs one after another, like normal people do, but finding one that I really like at a time and listening to it obessively. One day I'll figure out how to insert them in these pages.

How to have the best week end of your life - Part 2

2008-04-29T12:08:00.004+08:00

Clearly he was totally drunk/stoned/mad as a hatter. I mean, why else would he come and speak to me outright? I am so unused to beautiful strangers talking to me, it sort of freaked me out and when he said "Would you like to join me and my friends?" I chickened out and said "erm yes sure, why don't you find them first and then we find you guys". This was in a crowd of thousands of people - needless to say we never managed to bump into them again - there went my chance to hone my skills at seducing beautiful (drunk) strangers. Note to self: next time a guy asks me to join his friends, say "Yes that would be lovely", not "wooooow I am freaked out by such an appealing proposal but am too shy to say yes".

This said the rest of the party was quite fun, well in not too large doses because there is only so much hard core techno music three rock chicks can take, so we decided to leave relatively early. I was still determined to make the night a success, and instead of going home we decided to head to town, and it turned into one of those nights that has a good vibe: we met some people, got into trendy nightclubs (given our techno-party-in-a-field attire that in itself was a miracle). The highlight of the night was discovering a cool little bar full of Spanish people.. Ever since my encounter with Fernando the Hot Beach Buddy last summer I have been somewhat partial to Spanish men :).

What's even better, the Spanish guys invited us on a boat trip the following day. How much better could the week end get? And then suddenly, it dawned on me: the next day I had already accepted an invitation to a barbeque party of a friend of a friend. The guy is very nice but I know it would not quite be the same, so I was facing a dilemna: either spending the day on a boat with half clothed hot Spanish guys, but having to cope with the guilt of turning down a previously agreed to engagement with someone I appreciate, or going to this bbq which was going to be full of married couples with their kids but at least it would be with a clean conscience. Mind you, I have nothing against married couples with kids but when it comes to making a choice between them and a boat full of half naked Spaniards, you can't blame me for hesitating!

What is a girl to do?

I leave this mini cliff hanger of unbearable suspence but promise I'll be back soon to tell the rest of the tale :-)

How to have the best week end of your life - Part 1

2008-04-04T12:43:00.006+08:00

I think I have somewhat psychic powers. Sounds mad but there are a few instances where I had strong gut feelings which turned out to be proved right. For example, when celebrating the new year 2007 I spent the whole night repeating to people "2007 is the year of change, 2007 is the year of change". Little did I know at the time that my prediction would prove increbibly true, as that year I ended up changing jobs, moving to Asia, breaking up with Le Poulet, and basically there was little that did not change.

A couple of years ago I went out for beers with some colleagues of mine that I did not know very well. It was mid-January. For some reason I told one of them "I don't know why but I think you will have a really good February love-life wise". He looked at me quite flabbergasted and said "I am getting married on St Valentine's". Freaky, heih? (And why am I not ditching my job to start doing this full time and earning millions?).

Anyhow, I had one of those predictions again yesterday. I went to see a gig with DJ Tiesto (world-famous-most-known-DJ-in-the-world). It was a bit of rave actually, as he was mixing in the middle of a field somewhere out of town, playing a mix of techno-trance music. Not my usual scene and the night was going to be a bit of a long shot, given my friends and I like to dance but to techno music only in small doses.

Before the party I had my revelation: "Tonight is going to be either a totally rubbish night, or an absolutely fabulous one. But not an average so-so one". The start of the night seemed to point toward the former option. We took a shuttle bus for what seemed forever and were soon standing in the middle of the field. The music was quite hard core techno, and we stood there in the rain watching the crowd heaving to the music. There was an incredible energy in that crowd, it made me want to smile - and I was not pill popping! Many people looked like they were though, we spotted quite a few who looked a bit like zombies. Anyhow we decided to hit the bar for a drink, maybe that would help to get into the atmosphere, but the bar only sold soft drinks and water! We started laughing, seeing the funny side of being stuck in a field, in pouring rain, listening to techno music we could not get into, watching people who were either born with techno in their blood and dancing naturally, or totally wasted on alcohol and drugs, when we could not even buy ourselves a beer!

However, standing there, suddenly I flet my feet tapping to the music. I let myself dance a bit, and looked around at my friends who looked a bit more enthusiastic about the music as well. We were getting into it! At that point I thought maybe the night was not going to be such a failure after all. And then I felt someone coming danse closer to me on my right, turned around, and was greeted by a beautiful smile from a handsome stranger. I smiled back.

To be continued.

Wrinkles

2008-03-24T20:46:00.002+08:00

The other day I found a grey hair. Like any normal human being it made me freak out a bit, as it was throwing into my face, I mean hair, the fact that I was not going to be a young thing forever. Unlike many girls nearing their thirties it does not make me really worry. Perhaps because my mother and grandmother have both aged very well. Perhaps because I was never obsessed by my looks (except the size of The Ass but that is independant from me as it has an identity of its own).
All these past years I have been in Serious Relationships and never worried about by Hook Up potential. I was always confident that the guys I was with liked me for me, not only my youthful looks.
Now that I am free and single again, of course I do feel looks will play a certain part in my future if I want to meet someone again, but then these days meeting someone is not so much of a priority. At the end of the day, if I end up living alone and Eaten By Alsacians (as Bridget Jones would put it), so be it. I have seen many women worry about ageing because:
Good Looks = Attracting Men = Happiness
Hence, once they age they become paranoid they lose their men and then they give into desperate measures like surgery. I would not want to fall into that trap. The other day one of my colleagues, who is a stunning Hong Kong beauty told me that she caught her image in the elevator mirror one day when she was laughing and realised laughing made her face wrinkled. So she was scared of laughing (!).

But there is one thing that is starting to bother me about time taking its toll on my body - it is not the face wrinkles (don't really have any except my worry wrinkle accross the forehead but I've had it since I was 12), not sagging boobs (they are too small to be subject to much law of gravity), or grey hairs (I pulled out the one I had). That one thing is: Under-arm Wrinkles! They appear just at the top of my arm pits where the skin folds when I have my arms by my side and I am pretty sure they were not here a few years ago.
Damn you Cruel Mother Nature!!

In Love

2008-03-03T23:55:00.004+08:00

Ok ok ok. Ok. The title of the post is totally misleading. I am not in love at all (unless you have seen some pigs flying around the IFC2 tower lately?). But last week I went for drinks with my friend C, and she took me to one of those little bars in Wo On Lane, in the LKF area. The drinks were much needed after a very tough week for me, and a very stressful reunion with ex boyfriend for her. The moment the bartender guy spoke to us asking the wonderful words "what would you like to drink?" (I have heard those words before but they never sounded so beautiful) I was smitten.
Then I looked up and started to drown in the mysterious dark blue pool of his eyes. And then he smiled. At that point I think I peed a bit in my pants from the joy.

Er where was I? Ah yes, so I recommend this cosy little bar with rather, hum, nice staff. Initially I was surprised by the fact a male person is so mesmerising to me. But then I realised the explanation: the bar is listed in the Gay-Friendly Bars of HK. That was the only possible explanation: the first guy who actually touches me within my soul for the first time in centuries is most probably surely gay. Great. Stuff.

In illness and in health

2008-02-26T21:32:00.004+08:00

One of my friends just came out of an operation. She is doing fine, there are no long term damages and all she needs is a few weeks off to recover and be fit as a fiddle again. She has her friends, boyfriend and family around her to help go through this tough time.
Talking to her made me realise the importance of being surrounded by people you love and people who love you. It made me wonder if I was setting my priorities straight and worrying about the right issues.
I spend a lot of my time agonising over my break up with Le Poulet, who was the worst person in the world to count on. One day I was in my kitchen in London and had a minor domestic accident, I basically burnt my arm with some boiling water. The burn was quite bad so given its size and the pain I decided to go to see a pharmacist asap. At no point in time I thought of calling Le Poulet. I don't know why. Maybe because I knew I would be disappointed.
When I moved here I have left quite a few friends behind in Europe and even though with the internet it's easy to keep in touch it's still not the same. I am meeting a ton of new people here in Hong Kong but it will take time to make deep meaningful friendships.
My family has always been another long story, we are not exactly connected closely most of the time. I know I can count on them in case of need but they are not part of my daily life and it's never something that I gave much thought before.
I still love my life here, and am not complaining (well most of the time). I needed to change many things in my last environment and Hong Kong offers a lot of the things I was looking for, including a challenging and exciting job. Even though making very precise plans in life is a bit useless, I am starting to realise I should be careful about not letting the important things slip by. Like someone said "On your deathbed no-one will remember you for the hours put in in the office".

Random collection of emails from today

2008-02-21T23:26:00.004+08:00

From: Evie
To: B
Hi B,
So EXCITED, just bought my ticket to fly back to Europe this summer, will attend your wedding, wuuuuhh!!

*********
From: Colleague
To: Evie
Evie,
I fear we are not going to meet the deadline.

**********
From: Boss
To: Evie
Are we going to meet the deadline?

**********
From: Evie
To: Tom
Hi Tom,
Am going to be back in town this summer, we should catch up.
Incidentally, got a spare couch for me? Or a bed? Or your bed?

(This email was actually not sent, Tom is my crush from back home in London and the above email sent 5 months in advance of my trip would be a bit desperate no??)

*********
From: Evie
To: Best Friend1; Best Friend2
Guyyyyyyss!!
Howdie? Am going to be in town in June/July, wuuuuuuuh. Can I test-drive that new couch of yours??
Miss you.

*********
From: Evie
To: Fernando the Hot Beach Buddy (the one from the beach this summer, hmmm)
Hi Fernando!
I was back in Thailand last week end, went back to that night club again, it's still one of the best places on Earth :~)

A day in the life of

2008-02-21T09:08:00.002+08:00

The days are following each other at a speedy pace, they all look the same these days:

8.30 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze
8.37 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze
8.44 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze
8.51 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze, but start to panic am oversleeping. I fall asleep anyway
8.58 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze. This time drag myself to shower.
9.58 - Get to work
11.15 pm - Leave work, roll home, check email, think to myself "gosh I need a cleaner, this place is a dump", fall asleep, until...
8.30 - Alarm goes off. I hit snooze
And so on..

I fear in 50 year's time it will still be the same.

Saint Valenzillah

2008-02-14T23:00:00.003+08:00

Despite my optimism this week, it seems like today has turned me into St Valenzillah. First of all I day dreamed all day about a surprise bouquet of flowers beingn delivered to me (sent from a non-existing imaginary ghost?). Then I caught myself giving the evil eye to every single girl in our office who was receiving flowers. And this is Hong Kong, the land of kitsh and commercialism, so you can be assured the office was full of flowers. Then at lunchtime I passed a jewellery store full of men gazing at the pretty stones they were planning to buy for their women, and I actually walked in there and declared to myself "Evie does not need a man to get jewellery, she can buy it herself". For a split second I was determined to spend hundreds of dollars (US) just to prove the point to myself. Fortunately common sense kicked in. And also the fact I don't particularly like jewellery. Then when I left the office tonight I was practically doing a James Bond style walk keeping my back to the wall and looking left and right in order to make sure I did not bump into Le Poulet, who happens to work near my office and I was very afraid to stumble upon him meeting up with a hypothetical St Valentine's date precisely at the moment I was walking past (I am pretty sure he had a date lined up for tonight, the eejit!). That would have totally ruined my day, no, week, no, year, no, life.
Then I went to this St V party thing which was nice but I was in such a foul mood that I did not feel like talking to new people, so stuck to gossiping with my friends A and K. And anyway the guy sitting next to me was a jerk (or did I perceive him being a jerk because I was sending off such bad mood vibes that anyone in my vicinity would have turned toxic anyway).
If I could write my astrology for this week in restrospect I would say "This week better to stay at home and hide under your duvet".
The good news though is that tomorrow am heading for a fun girlie week end to Bangkok, full of shopping, gossiping, and who knows what more. Ah yes and planning the come back of my previously characteristic good mood.

St V minus 3 days

2008-02-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

I can see it from the corner of my eye, ready to pounce on me: St Valentine's, aka singleton'szilla. (It's like Godzilla but it swallows up single people all in one go).
It's my first StV in a long time and contrary to expectations it does not make me sad or nostalgic. The 14th of February with Le Poulet was always a non-event, he always made a point to remind me that it did not mean anything, that we were in a cool relationship that did not need that sort of artificial commercialism.

Well this year I am going to no less than two parties to celebrate this artificial commercialism. Once on the 13th (why there is a St V celebration on the 13th, I have no idea) and then another on the 14th (that's more like it). I am attending both events with a bunch of friends with whom I am looking forward to having one of those evenings where you can laugh yourself silly and have a bit of boogie as if nobody is watching.

On a side note my mood is considerably lifted and I am pretty sure it's something to do with my new obsession of going to the gym where 1. I can get the Ass in a proper shape again (the motivation is visualising myself on one of those junk boats in Hong Kong this summer) and 2. where I can catch up on all the episodes of Heroes while on the treadmill. Am totally hooked to both the sports chemicals and the series.

Hysteria

2008-02-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

I liked this game found on Cinn's blog.

The rules:
1. Put your music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT. (This is in capital letters, so it is very serious.)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Short Circuit - Daft Punk (Is that supposed to be a short circuit in my brain?)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? In the name of love - Bob Sinclair (Sounds about right)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Lucky Star - Basement Jaxx
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Perfect Day - Trainspotting (How ironic..)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Merry Happy / Little Red - Kate Nash (a mixture of happy and crazy, sounds right)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Onde Sensuelle - M (a French band, the song title means sensual wave, that is me!)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Not an addict - K's Choice (Well that is reassuring.. )
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Lovely Head - Goldfrapp (Err?)
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? But I feel good - Groove Armada (The But in the title is meaningful..)
10. WHAT IS 2+2? Everything she wants - Wham (No laughing at my music taste)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Filthy/Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters (Haha will have to tell her!)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? My friends - Red Hot Chilli Peppers (Damn so we can only stay friends??)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Sympathique - Pink Martini (Hmm, another title in French which means "nice", sounds a bit boring)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Higher Ground - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Mr President - Marting Solveig (yes I am easily impressed by that person)
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? The golden path - Chemical Brothers
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Train - Goldfrapp (Ok so it will have to be a traintrack wedding..)
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Stuck in the middle - Mika (Does it mean I will stay a ghost?)
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? How High - Madonna (I should become a pilot?)
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Burn away - Foo Fighters (Yes the secret inside me is burning me from inside..)
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Face to Face - Daft Punk (So I will need to tell them face to face, not here).
22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Hysteria - Muse (catchy post name :)

What were the odds?

2008-02-10T00:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I worry that I will run out of stories to tell. But given the tendency I have to put myself in awful, ackward and embarassing situations I really don't know why I worry. There will always be a horribly cringe-worthy story to tell.. And here comes the daddy of all stories which will be hard to beat over the course of the year.

The other night I went out to a cultural event with some friends. These friends had some other friends also coming to the event, so all in all we ended up being a large group of people, most of whom I did not know.

The plan was to meet at a restaurant for a pre-event dinner, before heading there together. My friends were running late so I thought I was going to bite the bullet and just go there alone, even though I felt really shy not knowing anyone.

Now let me skip back a couple of months.. I went out clubbing once and ended up hooking up with this guy, let's call him Club Guy. That night I was more than a little bit tipsy, and the hook up was extremely silly and casual.. And also there was one fact that barely mattered at the time: that guy was not really available ie he had a serious girlfriend. I never saw him again or heard from him, and that was ok because it was one of those silly evenings..

Now, let's skip back time to my recent night out.. I turn up at this restaurant full of friends-of-friends I do not know, and who do I see sitting next to his girlfriend?? Yep, you have guessed, CLUB GUY!.. It was a horribly embarassing moment, I was desperately trying to act cool but the moment I recognised him my mind blanked and I can not really recall what I said or did.. I hope I pulled it off ok. We did not really speak to each other and I avoided all eye contact the whole night, but gooooshh.. I would be so bad at being someone's full time secret lover.

The really perverse thing though, that proves I do have a dark side after all, is that I felt a tiny weeny bit smug about the whole thing. After all my relationship with Le Poulet broke down because he was not ready to commit and have a Serious Relationship and rather preferred to have fun. Well in this case with Club Guy, I had become the element of Fun causing disruption in a Serious Relationship. It makes me feel bad but at the same time it felt like a revenge over the whole world.

I think I need to find a hobby like patchwork or something to avoid other machaivelistic thoughts like this, a bit freaky..

Holy cr@p, it worked!!

2008-02-07T01:03:00.001+08:00

When the Chinese fortune teller told me this year (Chinese year starting Thursday Feb 7th) I was going to have lots of men in my life, he knew his stuff!!
Tonight I was 30 mins into the New Year (it was 00.30 am) I ran into two friends-of-a-friend on my way home, both guys. We had a fun chat in the middle of the street, and it ended up with us exchanging phone numbers. Not in a hmm-maybe-we-can-date-sometime way, more in a friendly way, which is still nice.
Tomorrow (technically tonight as it's past midnight) I am going out with some friends to a concert, I hope I meet cool new people while I am surfing this wave..

Happy New Year, again!

2008-02-06T00:08:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong is very busy getting ready to celebrate Chinese new year. It's a huge event and it feels like the last few days in December all over again: companies give 2 days off, people go on vacation or plan huge reunions with their families.
I am watching all this effervescence with a huge curiosity and am trying to adapt by making sure I stick to the traditions properly - for example I need to distribute money in red envelopes to the people who are employed to help me, for example the tea lady at work. And also I make sure that I do everything necessary to bring me good luck for this coming new year.

One of the things I did recently was go to a fortune teller. He told me many things, some good, some bad, but one of them was that in the next couple of years I was going to have to make a decision among the many men in my life and pick one. Because there was going to be a ton of them to chose from, especially this year. Am very impatient for the New Year to begin (this Thursday) so that the men can start flocking in. I even expect that as I open my door that day there will be a couple already standing outside my apartment :).

One of the reasons I have been AWOL lately is that I have been obsessing once more about my life as a single girl with lots of metaphysical questions about who am I, am I happy blahblahblah and did not want to post of one those posts again. So in the end I made a promise to myself: I will absolutely NOT become one of those women approaching or past 30 who are desperate to get a man. And who have this desperation seeping through their pores. Instead I will enjoy all the things I can do now while single, and I give myself 12 months, until Feb 5th 2008 to start to get a bit worried. But at the moment am going to behave like an irresponsible 18 year old because that is what I am at heart.

Year of the Rat, bring it on.

What I learned today

2008-01-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today was a bog-standard day, similar to so many days of my life. I still managed to learn from it:

- When I say to myself in the morning "Right, today am not eating any sugar nor greasy heavy food" I should never ever ever expect it to be true.
- Sushi can be a very greasy heavy lunch option
- It's possible to sit at a desk for 13 hours and still not get that much work done
- I have an embedded radar that can spot Le Poulet miles away in a street which enables me to successfully avoid him
- I manage to put on eye shadow quite fetchingly if I put a bit of effort into it
- I am about to get into trouble for forgetting to pay my Amex bill. Again.
- People in my building now talk to each in the elevator now. They actually smile broadly and say "Good evening" to each other. Even Stroppy and Tall Guy.

Nah that last point was a joke. Of course they don't - that would be breaking the number 1 rule of Elevator Behaviour.

Naked Guy

2008-01-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

No, before anyone asks, this was not someone in my bed. And before anyone asks I promise I am not making this up. (Even if I tried it would not be as good).

From my building driveway I can see very well into flats of the building accross the road (it's quite low rise building with only a handful of floors). Very often when I get home late (not to say rolling uphill drunk) I stop in the driveway and have a good look at the Naked Guy who lives on the Nth floor of that building. It's quite an eye candy, very handy before going to sleep :-). I can of course only assume that he is totally naked because his window stops at waist level and thus it's only a partial view. (Frustrating, obviously).

The other night I was out having a drink and ran into a Folp. A FOLP is actually a Friend Of Le Poulet. There are a few lurking about in this city and one can never be too careful about what one is saying in that sort of environment. Anyway I had a polite chat which sort of went like this:

- how are you blah blah blah blah
- fine blah blah blah
- FOLP: So where do you live these days?
- Evie: Oh I found the dream flat on C Street
- FOLP: Seriously? I live on C Street! What number are you at? I am at number 2
- Evie: No Way! I am at number 1. Hold on a sec, is your building no the low rise one above Such and Such shop?
- FOLP: That's the one
- Evie: Cool! Hey you know there is a Naked Guy living in that building. What floor do you live on?
(For some reason a life-saving instinct kicked in and told me not to give more information. Not. Give. More. Info).
- FOLP: Nth. Where does Naked Guy live?
(Nth??? That's Naked Guy's floor!! Maybe they are neighbours?)
- Evie: Er I think he was higher than that. Hey do you live on the right or left hand side of the Nth floor?
- FOLP: There is only one flat per floor.
Oh. My. God. I am actually talking to Naked Guy!

At least the conversation could have taken a much worse turn with me blurting out straight away that I oggle this Naked Guy who lives on the Nth floor, FOLP would have said "wait a minute, that's me" and that would have been just lovely.

Come to think of it, it's true I never really got a good look at his face..

The Lert

2008-01-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

So the other day I heard:
Be A Lert
The Country Needs Lerts.

So I decided to become one.

Lerts are characterised by very strange behaviour around other people and especially members of the opposite sex that are quite attractive.
In my case the victim of my inept behaviour is Muscle Guy, who works in my building. I've been introduced to him once which means that each time he crosses my path he is subject to my seriously ackward conversation.
Or lack of it.

Exhibit A: At the gym.
The other day I was there early for a Please-Shape-My-Body-Like-Madonna training session with my Body Shaper teacher. He basically makes me do lots of muscle exercices, sit on torture-like muscle machines and make a general fool of myself ("Ok Evie, I see 3 kilos is a bit too heavy, let's take it down to 0.5").
Anyway he sat me down on this horrid machine that spreads your tighs wide open and you are supposed to exercise by bringing them back together. Needless to say it looks totally un-sexy.
And of coure at that exact moment Muscle Guy walks by me. Goddammit! So I had no other option that just pretend to be super absorbed by the machine and stare ahead of me inhaling-exhaling very heavily with the effort. I mean, I was not going to look him in the eye with my thighs spread wide open and go "Hey Muscle Guy, nice to see you again ,Happy New Year, how are you, come here often?". The worst is that a few moments later my Body Shaper teacher took me to work in the same area of the gym where Muscle Guy was working out with his Body Shaper teacher (aha now I know how he gets his dream body). But I did not manage to say Hi once again because each time one of us was in a big series of abs/pushups/kickboxing rounds and it was not appropriate to say hi. Well that was ackward.

Exhibit B: With 2 biscuits stuffed inside my mouth.
A few days later I was determined to make up for my Social Inadequacy with Muscle Guy at the next opportunity I met him. The Opportunity did come but I missed it. I was running out of the building to go to the gym, and I had grabbed two whole oatcakes which I crammed in my mouth because 1. I was hungry and needed the energy for the gym and 2. because I had nowhere else to hold them having a handbag, a gym bag, an ipod to carry and at the same time texting my friend C on my mobile. Anyway, I was standing there waiting for the elevator and guess who turns up next to me also waiting for the lift? Yup you guessed it, Muscle Guy! And he said "Hi". And what did I say? Well NOTHING because my mouth was still stuffed with 2 whole oatcakes, and the sneeky buggers take an eternity to swallow. So all I said was "Grrmmpppff" while pointing at my mouth apologetically.
Classy.

One last thing about the whole New Year Thing

2008-01-09T01:00:00.000+08:00

I saw this over the week end and it got me really excited.
This is what my horoscope predicts for 2008, according to the horoscope pages in Hong Kong Magazine (and it's powerful this one, so MUST be true).

”Do you ever wonder if God loves Brad Pitt and Paris Hilton more than he loves you, as seemingly evidenced by those celebrities’ lives? Do you suspect that Tiger Wood’s fame and Bill Gates’ wealth mean that fate is friendlier to them than it is to you? If so, you’re in for a major surprise, Capricorn. Events in 2008 will bring you big deliveries of the next best things to riches and fame. You’ll get more proof than you’ve had in a long time that God and fate adore you”.

So maybe the Jude Law kiss is a reasonable thing to expect this year?

Danger Danger

2008-01-08T07:01:00.000+08:00

My life just got a whole load more dangerous. I thought I was living on the edge, but now I really am.
One of my social networks just created a Google Group. Usually when I log into Blogger my Evie login gets automatically recognised. From now on I will have to be super extra careful not to confuse my real name login with my Blogger one. I can feel a slippage coming up, I can feel it...

Love Love Love

2008-01-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

No, love is not in the air for me, but I've been thinking about it these days. Probably because I've seen two soppy movies ("My Blueberry nights" and "the Notebook"). I won't give any spoilers here, but both are about the emotional connection that can exist between two people (aka love).

I have been in love twice in my life, which I should probably be thankful for, as some people spend a life time looking for something like that with no success. Both stories ended very painfully, in moments where you wish you never had a heart at all, that could neither feel happiness, love or pain. But after time does its healing thing you realise that it's all part of life and no one ever said it would be easy - but at least it's not boring.

I am still in a state of confusion though, as I am not sure wether to believe what the movies tell us about there being a possibility for a "Happily Ever After" scenario. Is it possible to find someone who is a real soul mate, and for these feelings not to have a shelflife? Are we all made for living our life with the same person, or are we supposed to experience cycles and move on from person to person (contrary to what the traditional institutions of marriage and family make us believe?). I don't know many couples among an older age group that reflects a very positive image about this. No one in my family is having a Happily Ever After (actually there are not many couples left at all) and in the other families I see sometimes it feels more like people just got used to being with each other (and have their finances and logistics planned all around it). It does sound cynical, I know.

Whatever happens, I do hope to get kissed one day in the same way that Nora Jones does in "My Blueberry Nights". And even better if it could be by Jude Law in person, pretty-please-thank-you-very-much.

The underwear fiasco

2008-01-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

A few days before New Year's eve I got some furniture delivered to my flat. I was in a big house-cleaning frenzy that day, eager to clear things before the year was over, it's all good karma you see. I did not get far in my cleaning but I did get a mountain of washing done, especially all my fragile underwear that needs to be handwashed. I laid it all in neat rows in my bathroom; it was a bit of boudoir atmosphere, with stockings here, bras straps there, panties everywhere.

I went about my business and forgot all about it. Then the door bell rang and the furniture delivery guys arrived. The first thing their boss said was:
- Can I please go to bathroom?
I said : "Sure". He ran there faster than I could say "Hey please wait a min.....".
The door slammed, too late.

So this guys must have had the bathroom experience of a lifetime in my bathroom!

Oh well at least I am glad someone got to see it all ;-)