Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Episode 18: Panic Attack

This time next week, I will be moments away from boarding my plane to Hong Kong. This leaves me one week to:
- wrap up all the stuff at work
- organise some drinks on my boat tonight + leaving drinks at work + a kick-ass leaving do with all the amigos for my last night in London
- plan my HOLIDAY
- organise my move (sort stuff into holiday stuff / first-few-weeks-in-HK stuff / stuff for the movers)
- visit family and friends back home
- keep my mental sanity
- 1000 other things, that if I continue to list, will make me cry..
The thing that kind of bugs me at the moment, is that I have got a massive case of cold feet about my decision to move. I feel like a spoilt brat as everyone keeps asking me "So, you are nearly off, are you excited?" and I nod frenetically but deep inside me I am not that excited. More like terrified. There is a voice inside my head shouting "Get me out of here, what are you doing? This is a bad idea". And it's not really a case of me being scared to leave things behind and go on an adventure, (I have always been one for changing countries and going on adventures), it's just rather that I am deeply questioning my life, career and relationship choices at the moment, and feel like there are too many voices in my head which stop me from thinking properly. Maybe had I thought things through a bit more, I would have done things differently. But now it's too late, the wheels are in motion, I got to go with it.
And I can't get much sympathy for having as a main current worry what to do with 5 weeks' of backpacking holiday in South East Asia, can I?…


Hkocoon said...

Good luck for the packing!! And I'm sure you will be laughing at your worries once you put a foot in Asia;) You will looove it.

Evie said...

Thanks HKC, I do believe you are right. (Ttres jolie robe by the way :)