And then it happened again. I was out at a club with some friends, and to be honest the choice of club was not innocent, Eddie had hinted strongly he would be there. The moment he arrived I felt very nervous, trying hard (but making it look totally effortless) to be witty, funny, flirty. We did have a really good time but I don't know, we were missing a certain je ne sais quoi.. In contrast with his text messages insisting we try to meet up that night, his attitude was quite aloof and I did not get that much sense of him being anything more than a mate.
Then of course George walked into the club, with a GIRL. We had the same ackward moments of looking at each other knowingly while still paying attention to our respective friends (and him his date). Even though the one thing I wanted more than anything was to go out with Eddie, I still felt a pang of jealousy that George was there with someone else. Who said girls were rational??
Anyhow, he (George) ended up leaving with the Girl, while I stayed a bit for some conversation with Eddie. As it was an outing on a school night I left at a reasonable hour. Overall what I got after that night was a very bad hangover and a huge sense of frustration that I was making no progress whatsoever with Eddie. Why was he being so non-active?
I spent the week end over analyzing the situation, and ended up deciding to avoid contact with either boy, until I figured things out.
Until today. Because George texted me suggesting we "meet up" tomorrow. And I know it makes no sense to say yes because it's going nowhere. But also it makes no sense to not say yes, as imagining the evening with him makes me go wobbly in the knees. I am so weak..