Last night I had an NSE: Near Sex Experience. (Not to be confused with NDE, Near Death Experience).
Let us go back in time to the series of events that lead to it.
Having recently decided to open my horizons I had accepted an invitation to a high profile expat dinner that night, where I only knew one person. Scary experience but good for getting-out-of-the-shell motivation. There I met a couple of girls who invited me to join them to go to someone's birthday do in a bar. The bar had a really good vibe, it was heaving with good music and people, the atmosphere was very joyous. Even the barstaff were joining in the fun, drinking and handing out free shots left, right, and centre. And to be honest by that point, after a lovely meal and lots of fine wine we were also in a party mood..
Out of nowhere, I struck up a conversation with one of the dashing young men of the birthday group (a friend of my friends') who was hovering near me staring at my handbag for some reason. And the conversation lasted and lasted and lasted. He was not a great conversationalist but I was*, and given my recent project of understanding men I thought I might as well take advantage of the opportunity to observe this specimen in detail. Besides, given my recent despair of ever meeting men again, I was quite suprised he was talking to me so long. Plus of course he was super hot.
Anyhow, at some point we realised that all the other people in our respective groups had left, and I suggested we change bars. In the new place, while sharing a bottle of wine, we conversed some more, with me doing most of the talking again from I recall.
The very confusing thing about the experiment, is that clearly I generated some kind of interest in him. But on the other side, I could not understand what he was after: it didn't feel like he was trying to find out more about my mesmerising personality. And it was not either that he was trying to get in my pants, as he was not particularly enterprising. In any case I thought I would just wait and see how things would develop, all in the name of scientific experimantation of course (I can be selfless like that sometimes).
After litterally hours, he ended up kissing me. But very briefly, carefully, as if nearly against his will?? It's the first time this has happened to me, because in my limited kissing experience (kissing CV available on request), usually when a situation like this has been working up towards a kiss, the air is static with sexual tension and when the kiss finally happens it is a moment of small sparks. But not in this case, this felt like a half assed kiss.
Anyhow, I was curious to push the experiment further, and suggested we finish the bottle of wine at home (a little forward you may argue but here again I was only investigating in the name of science). So we walked up to my building, and just at the point of going into the lift, he gave me a peck on the cheek, handed me the bottle of wine, and walked out.
WTF? The evening had been so weird until that point that I was not even very shocked, or disappointed. I was more amused, but at the same time puzzled. The only rational explanation is that he was gay. Or more realistically, that he had a girlfriend. And the scary thing is, the last three men I've kissed turned out to have girlfriends. Is that coincidence, or am I a magnet for unavailable men?
In any case it has proven that I need to investigate a lot more because at the moment am still totally cluless in my "Understanding Men" Project.
* Given that I was trying to keep the conversation flowing but stuggling a bit, and given by the end I had consumed quite a large amount of wine, I may have uttered phrases along the lines of:
- "What is your favorite place in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite restaurant in HK?" followed by
- "What is your favorite bar in HK?"
- "Do you feel threatened by strong independant women"?
- "Do you want to bring that bottle of wine upstairs so I can show off my incredibly trendy new wine glasses?".
Note to self: avoid all of the above at the next conversational experiment.