Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Can you get burnt by human warmth?

I wake up. Look at my alarm. It's 4 am. I take in the view of the Hong Kong skyline through my curtainless window, blurred through my short sighted eyes. I shut my eyes but a restlessness seizes me and I know I will not be falling asleep for a while. The emptiness takes over. I can see myself though an imaginary camera's eye, lying all alone in my bed, in a building full of people; it's strange how you can feel lonely in such a crowded place.

I have no wish right now to have a toothbrush partner in my life, with whom I would wake up each day, and fall asleep with after the usual arguments and mundaine conversations about who needs to remember to buy toothpaste the next day. I just wish I could press a button in those moments, in the middle of the night, and summon a presence to occupy the empty space next to me in my bed, holding me tight in his arms. Just for an hour or so, that is all.

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