Sunday, 10 August 2008

Email from the genitor

My patience is beeing pushed to its limits by the men in my life. Or rather my mother's men. First there is my "so called step father" who suddenly appeared out of the blue not long ago asking me for money. And now an email from my father.
The last time I saw him was probably around 2001. All in all I must have seen him about 5 times in my life. He does not know much about me, I think my aunt and grandmother whom I keep in touch with give him some news about me once in a while.
I did send him an email about 6 months ago giving an update on my life, more details about my new life in Hong Kong and in general a message saying it's not because we have not been in touch that much that we can't reconnect. Did he reply? Of course not. Not because he has anything against me, but probably because each time he started to write back he got lazy, or did not what to say, and then something came up etc etc.
Anyhow, last week I get a message saying:

Hi!

I am coming to HongKong next week, attending trade show. Staying in XYZ Hotel.

Hope you are there and would love to see you.

[Insert genitor name]
So basically he writes to me with 4 day's notice, as if he did not know months ago he was coming to town, and rather remembered as an after thought to drop me a line to tell me. And he drops exactly 2 lines, as if we were some sort of casual friends who saw each other a couple of months ago.

Am really hesitating between playing dead and totally ignoring him on one hand, or meeting him but briefly on the other. I have no anger towards him so the meeting would be very civil and polite and we would have lots to talk about, but the question, what would really be the point?

6 comments:

(^oo^) bad girl (^oo^) said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nicey said...

You need to decide if you want him back in your life, personally I don't thinks that you should, youve moved on, you have a new life. Do you you really wanna go there. To be quit honest he appears a complete tosser. Thats me speaking as a father myself !
Take care

Nicey

Charles in HK said...

I am interested to know whether or not you met with your dad when he was in Hong Kong.

Evie said...

Nicey and Charles, in the end I decided to meet up with him albeit quite briefly. Preparing a post (here as well, albeit quite brief!)

Cosima said...

Men...[big sigh]

My dad and I don't always have the same opinion, or - let's be honest - very rarely have the same opinion, but I value that we can discuss things nevertheless, argue, sometimes be cross, and still love each other. And the older I get, the more I appreciate the relationship we have. It's very seldom that you have persons you can be honest with, and still get accepted no matter what.

I hope that the women in your life make up for all these bad, bad men ;)

Evie said...

Cosima, indeed I think it's a real gift to have parents with whom you can have these sorts of debates. I think the relationship with the father is an important part in defining people's personality later in life ..