I think one of my addictions is cured: Yup, looks like I won't be seeing George again.
We met for our trademark "catch up" last week, and it was not great. Actually, it was totally abysmal.
Why? Well, lots of reasons:
- I realised we had nothing to say to each other. This was never important before because I guess we did not spend that much time talking, but I reckon I reached a stage where just ripping each other's clothes off was not enough to justify spending time with him
- The passion seems to have fizzled out (maybe it's linked to the first point above, where my head was taking over worrying rather than going with the flow)
- The whole evening was saoulless, almost clinical. I can't explain it any better, it just felt like I was acting in a movie with no motivation for what I was doing. And after the "deed", as usual, we had no cuddling/contact which really striked me as cold, even more than before.
- He did the First Time Clothing Thing. Here is my theory: at the initial stages of a relationship, things are pretty steamy on the sexual front, right? And usually the two parties to the steaminess will tend to sleep naked. Flash forward a few months/years later. When you get comfy, complacent, settled in, you don't sleep naked any more, because it's cold, or less comfy, or just because you don't need to anymore. Well, for me, it's important to try to keep things with a spark for as long as possible. And this means avoiding getting too comfy/complacent too early. And this specifically entails not getting clothed, because if you do it means you are on the motorway to boredom (no offence to anyone who is in the Sleeping Together Clothed Camp, afterall what do I really know about what makes a relationship work?? :). And that other night, before falling asleep, he whipped on a pair of boxers for sleeping. Ie he did the First Time Clothing Thing. BIG MISTAKE in my book.
So, the moral of the story is, the whole point of a friend with benefits is to get the full benefits without the worrying which goes with a real relationship. This friendship is not coming up with enough benefits and too much worrying on my part, so out with it! I will not initiate contact with him anymore (ok, but I don't bet any money on it, just in case in 6 months time I suddenly get an, er, urge, for catching up). I am still curious to see if it was as rubbish for him and wether he will be initiating any contact in the weeks to come, hmmp.
Wow that was a very honest analysis of what I've been up to.