I have a problem with anger. Because I don't have the capacity to feel it. Sadness, frustration, resentment, swearing profusely, yes. But I am incapable of feeling anger in a healthy way that would help to get tension out of my system. Instead I either ignore the small things that bother me, or bottle up the bigger things, which gets translated in a state of stress.
So lately I have been experimenting with the emotion, and trying to express anger when something bothers me.
Friday night, after a rather shitty day at work full of bad news, I met C and Lucy for drinks and tried to be angry that night, along the lines of: "Hmm, I really fancy a Mojito. Ermmm, no, I mean, Grrrrrrr I am so angry tonight, someone get me a Mojito, now!". So the anger thing lasted for about a minute.
Today I felt I needed to try it again. I got home quite late after a dinner with friends and as I entered my flat I could hear some music, and thought to myself it was odd because usually I never hear the neighbours. And I started to feel anger towards them being so inconsiderate for playing music so late in the night, especially on a Monday night, after a very exhausting week end when I needed some real rest. I let the anger get out: "Damn you stupid neighbours, tonight I really need to get some f***ing sleep!" (swearing added for extra anger effect).
But then it turned out it was coming from the iPod in my handbag.