Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Why shopping is in fact very bad for you

In order to stick to my resolution number 652 (the one about dressing smartly at work), I decided to check out the sales at Zara in order order to stock up on some basics like t-shirts and shirts. The quality is poor but for basic items that will last a season Zara fits the bill (listen to me, I sound like an advice column from Cosmo mag).

The thing with Zara is that the fitting rooms have been designed by psychopaths with the ultimate aim of distorting your sense of bearing and potentially even your identity. The lighting is super bright, it's the "oooooh I had no idea I had a pimple there" kind. So at first you feel rubbish. But then, things get better. For one, because the clever psychopaths have designed the clothes sizes to be one size too big. So if usually you are a size 40, the size 40 items will be too large for you. So you will then try the size 38 (which is in fact a size 40 in the real world). Even if you know about the manipulation that is going on, you feel smug and happy because you are wearing an item with a smaller size number written on it.

And to top it all up, the mirrors are slimming. I realised this as I was standing in the fitting room in my underwear, and I even paused in my clothes fitting to turn in all angles, front, back, side, happy face, sad face, sexy pause, shy pause and finally model catwalk walk on the same spot.

Anyhow, a few moments, or maybe minutes, or maybe possibly hours later, I emerged with some cheap badly cut t-shirts but feeling like a skinny sex goddess.

Under this illusion, the next thing I did was to go to the sweet shop and buy myself sweets with enough calories to feed an entire medium sized village. Hence I bet if I go back to those miraculous fitting rooms at Zara tomorrow even they will not be able to work their magic to hide the fact the Ass will have doubled in size.


Nicey said...

Now that Evie, is a very Girlie post : (
Oh my resoultions I don't give a monkeys uncle about breaking them all by day 2 !!!!


Paris Lights said...
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Charles said...

No kidding, some PhD medical student once did a study on men shopping with women. The study showed that when men went shopping with women, their blood pressure increased. There was also an increase in certain types of enzymes in their bloodstream. All this pointed to shopping potentially causing cardiac arrests. Shopping is DEFINITELY bad for men!

Evie said...

Nicey - Ah yes, working on a more butch post about football and scratching of private parts :)
Charles - I must admit I am impressed when I see men dragged around shops by their girlfriends. They look like they are in agony, why do they do it?? It's like men carrying their women's handbags. How do these women persuade them to do all this??

Joyce said...

It's called size inflation and it was designed in America, where the women keep getting bigger, and yet there are ever-more clothes sized "zero." Same country created "grade inflation," in which ever student gets an A, so nobody feels stupid. Well, if it makes people feel better. It's better than the local Chinese shop, when I walk in, all 5'1" of me, and the lady immediately takes out a large!