Here I am, standing outside the big office block in the historical City of London. Men in pin stripe suits and women in smart skirts whizz by me. I am just a small rat in the middle of the race. I am also the only spot of colour, wearing a red coat, but surrounded by a sea of grey.
Deep breath, in we go. I meet the HR lady, get given my badge, am shown to my desk. And the next three weeks go by in a blur.
I am hating it. I am hating getting up early, going through manic days that resemble each other and that leave me totally exhausted. I am hating the fact I barely seem to do anything else than work, sleep and eat during the work week. I am hating public transport. By local standards I live "close" to work, but gosh I miss my 10 minute ride to work on the escalator in HK. I miss my mad HK friends, my flat, even my gym (wtf?). I am hating the weather, despite a couple of weeks of tropical heat we are now back on rainy, cold miserable mode, and it's only July.
But, also:
I am loving it. I am loving reconnecting with work life and London. Strutting about in posh work clothes a cappuccino in one hand, a sandwich in the other. I love making my brain work again. I love planning all these catch up sessions with friends I have not seen for ages, sometimes even a couple of years. And most of all, I love the fact I spend my week ends with a sexy, witty, adorable and adoring British man.
So the emotions are a mixture of extremes, with a lot of love/hate going on. But the dust is settling, and so am I, finding my little space in this big big city.
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
Countdown
2 years - That is how long ago I started this blog. I was in a dark confused state at the time, and just needed to let it all out. Blogging made a world of a difference, it forced me to analyse my feelings, as well as take a bit of mental distance form my life in order to be able to write about it.
23 months - 23 months ago I left Europe for Hong Kong. It was one of the hardest yet most exciting moves in my life. Hard because I was freshly broken hearted from my separation from Le Poulet (and moving in to the same city as him). I was starting a new job I felt was too challenging for me, working with a team that I felt (rightly so) was a bit dysfunctional. But at the same time I was excited, as I was taking 6 weeks off to travel Asia before starting the job. And my whole body and soul had been craving that kind of experience for years.
3 months - The time it took me to feel at home in Hong Kong. By then I had met C, was about to met Lucy, and things just felt good. I loved my flat, my city, my life. I was home.
6 weeks - Six weeks ago I gave back the keys of my flat to my landlady, and since have been living like a nomad, staying with friends or traveling.
1 week - The length of time I have been in London, my new home. In a few days I will move into my new flat and start my new job, a new life begins.
23 months - 23 months ago I left Europe for Hong Kong. It was one of the hardest yet most exciting moves in my life. Hard because I was freshly broken hearted from my separation from Le Poulet (and moving in to the same city as him). I was starting a new job I felt was too challenging for me, working with a team that I felt (rightly so) was a bit dysfunctional. But at the same time I was excited, as I was taking 6 weeks off to travel Asia before starting the job. And my whole body and soul had been craving that kind of experience for years.
3 months - The time it took me to feel at home in Hong Kong. By then I had met C, was about to met Lucy, and things just felt good. I loved my flat, my city, my life. I was home.
6 weeks - Six weeks ago I gave back the keys of my flat to my landlady, and since have been living like a nomad, staying with friends or traveling.
1 week - The length of time I have been in London, my new home. In a few days I will move into my new flat and start my new job, a new life begins.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
I {heart} Hong Kong landladies
This week I have given my up my HK pad back to the landlady. Mostly because it was horrendously expensive, and now that I don't have the Kind People in the Firm paying for it, there is no way I can afford it.
I've had good times in that flat:
- I arrived there with 2 suitcases and a handful of cardboard boxes from London (mostly full of shoes)
- I left with something that felt like 57 suitcases and 35 boxes (mostly full of shoes)
- For the first 10 months I had no curtains and every single night and every morning, when I took in the HK skyline, a little voice inside me said "Waouhhh"
- The flat saw some good parties: my housewarming when I moved in, C's wild birthday bash, and a few dinner parties (with culinary disasters that were saved thanks to the Chicken shop downstairs).
- My bed saw a small number of visitors (ok like two) but I will remember those experiences with a chuckle
- The only bad memory will be that one night of insomnia following me losing my job. It was one hard night but the next morning I woke up with a big smile on my face and a huge sense of relief and freedom.
I spent the past few days cleaning my flat like a maniac, waking up at dawn to scrub and everything. Maybe it's the trauma of renting places in Europe where the landlords turn up at the end of the lease and point at every single stain saying :"Ok that is minus x euros on your deposit", I really wanted the place to be spotless.
So today I met the landlady for the first time (the initial contract was handled by the agent) and the conversation went like this:
- Landlady: "Hello Evie, I am your landlady. Nice to meet you"
- Evie: "Oh hiiiiiiii [nervous laugh]. Please take a look around, the flat is all yours again, I've spent a loooot of time making it nice and clean for you"
- Landlady: "Oh WOW, I have never seen such a clean flat"
- E" You don't want to have a look around?
- L: "Oh nono, I am sure you took a very good care of it. Here is your deposit cheque"
- E: "Really? But have you seen these furniture stains here?" (D'oh, who says that to their landlady?"
- L: "yeah yeah whatver, it's still so clean!"
- E: "Oh. Um. Ok"
- L" Woooow, you look soooooo gorgeous*".
- E: "???"
* I don't think I have gorgeous looks by any stretch of the imagination, I think my landlady just had all other previous tenants that were trolls"
I've had good times in that flat:
- I arrived there with 2 suitcases and a handful of cardboard boxes from London (mostly full of shoes)
- I left with something that felt like 57 suitcases and 35 boxes (mostly full of shoes)
- For the first 10 months I had no curtains and every single night and every morning, when I took in the HK skyline, a little voice inside me said "Waouhhh"
- The flat saw some good parties: my housewarming when I moved in, C's wild birthday bash, and a few dinner parties (with culinary disasters that were saved thanks to the Chicken shop downstairs).
- My bed saw a small number of visitors (ok like two) but I will remember those experiences with a chuckle
- The only bad memory will be that one night of insomnia following me losing my job. It was one hard night but the next morning I woke up with a big smile on my face and a huge sense of relief and freedom.
I spent the past few days cleaning my flat like a maniac, waking up at dawn to scrub and everything. Maybe it's the trauma of renting places in Europe where the landlords turn up at the end of the lease and point at every single stain saying :"Ok that is minus x euros on your deposit", I really wanted the place to be spotless.
So today I met the landlady for the first time (the initial contract was handled by the agent) and the conversation went like this:
- Landlady: "Hello Evie, I am your landlady. Nice to meet you"
- Evie: "Oh hiiiiiiii [nervous laugh]. Please take a look around, the flat is all yours again, I've spent a loooot of time making it nice and clean for you"
- Landlady: "Oh WOW, I have never seen such a clean flat"
- E" You don't want to have a look around?
- L: "Oh nono, I am sure you took a very good care of it. Here is your deposit cheque"
- E: "Really? But have you seen these furniture stains here?" (D'oh, who says that to their landlady?"
- L: "yeah yeah whatver, it's still so clean!"
- E: "Oh. Um. Ok"
- L" Woooow, you look soooooo gorgeous*".
- E: "???"
* I don't think I have gorgeous looks by any stretch of the imagination, I think my landlady just had all other previous tenants that were trolls"
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Grandma, what big teeth you have
A few days ago Lucy and I went to explore China, and more precisely the city of Zhuhai which is a short boat trip away from Hong Kong, and a stone's throw from Macao (litterally). The city is actually extremely pleasant, with a nice landscaped layout, streetside terraced restaurants, and wonderful hotsprings.
After many hours, of relaxing, erm I mean intense tourism, we went for a massage.
My masseuse was a young girl whom I guess had not had a European customer before and so the following conversation took place:
- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what white skin you have" (Despite my attempts to sit in the sun when I can, my skin refuses to tan at all. And in China white skin is considered refined, so this was a compliment).
- Evie: "Thank you!"
...
- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what light eyes you have". (I have blue eyes, I took this as a compliment".
- Evie: "Thank you!"
...
- Masseuse: "Woooooh, miss, what big legs you have".
- Evie: *choke*
After many hours, of relaxing, erm I mean intense tourism, we went for a massage.
My masseuse was a young girl whom I guess had not had a European customer before and so the following conversation took place:
- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what white skin you have" (Despite my attempts to sit in the sun when I can, my skin refuses to tan at all. And in China white skin is considered refined, so this was a compliment).
- Evie: "Thank you!"
...
- Masseuse: "Wooooh, miss, what light eyes you have". (I have blue eyes, I took this as a compliment".
- Evie: "Thank you!"
...
- Masseuse: "Woooooh, miss, what big legs you have".
- Evie: *choke*
Sunday, 19 April 2009
A story
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a girl. She was finishing university and thinking about the future. She had a boyfriend called The Sensible One. She liked him. In reality she did not love him, but she did not realise that at the time. One day The Sensible One asked if she would like to get engaged and she said yes. She could have easily committed to staying her life with him, which would have been a bad idea, but she did not realise that at the time.
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
A few months later, she got a phone call out of the blue, offering a job in another country. And suddenly, that opened her eyes. It made her take a long hard look into her heart, and she realised she did not love The Sensible One. So she took the new job in the new country, alone.
She loved her new life. The new country was exciting, she made some great friendships, loved her job, and enjoyed being single. One day, she met The Chicken One. She thought he was perfect, but he was not. She could have easily stayed many many years with him which would have been a mistake, but she did not realise that at the time.
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
Just as she was thinking she had found a natural soul mate with The Chicken One, something changed. He got an opportunity to move to Asia. They decided to move together, given she also had the possibility of continuing her career from there. Just as they were about to move, they had some serious discussions they had never had in all their years together. And she realised that her expectations were in total mismatch with his. She saw at last that staying with him was fun in the short term, but eventually would just be a neverending source of disappointment and tears. So she took the decision to leave him (but to nevertheless move to Asia).
It was the hardest decision she had ever taken. But slowly, she pulled through, picked her heart off the floor, and focused on discovering Asia, a source of excitement, adventures, fun. She loved it. She thought she had found her real home, which was not fully correct, but she did not realise that at the time.
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
One day, she lost her job. She was forced to do a lot of soul searching. She realised even though she deeply loved Asia, there were things in her life that were missing, both personal and professional. So she applied for the Perfect Job in Utopia. While waiting to hear back about the Perfect Job application, she started to get rather close with her friend The Atomic One, and realised she really really really liked him, and that she would have liked to give things a go with him. But he lived in Europe, and she was trying to move to Utopia, so how could things work out?
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
One day, the people from the Perfect Job called her and told her they could not give her the job in Utopia. But that they had another one for her in Europe. In the same city where lived The Atomic One.
...
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
A few months later, she got a phone call out of the blue, offering a job in another country. And suddenly, that opened her eyes. It made her take a long hard look into her heart, and she realised she did not love The Sensible One. So she took the new job in the new country, alone.
She loved her new life. The new country was exciting, she made some great friendships, loved her job, and enjoyed being single. One day, she met The Chicken One. She thought he was perfect, but he was not. She could have easily stayed many many years with him which would have been a mistake, but she did not realise that at the time.
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
Just as she was thinking she had found a natural soul mate with The Chicken One, something changed. He got an opportunity to move to Asia. They decided to move together, given she also had the possibility of continuing her career from there. Just as they were about to move, they had some serious discussions they had never had in all their years together. And she realised that her expectations were in total mismatch with his. She saw at last that staying with him was fun in the short term, but eventually would just be a neverending source of disappointment and tears. So she took the decision to leave him (but to nevertheless move to Asia).
It was the hardest decision she had ever taken. But slowly, she pulled through, picked her heart off the floor, and focused on discovering Asia, a source of excitement, adventures, fun. She loved it. She thought she had found her real home, which was not fully correct, but she did not realise that at the time.
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
One day, she lost her job. She was forced to do a lot of soul searching. She realised even though she deeply loved Asia, there were things in her life that were missing, both personal and professional. So she applied for the Perfect Job in Utopia. While waiting to hear back about the Perfect Job application, she started to get rather close with her friend The Atomic One, and realised she really really really liked him, and that she would have liked to give things a go with him. But he lived in Europe, and she was trying to move to Utopia, so how could things work out?
But then the great Fate machine intervened.
One day, the people from the Perfect Job called her and told her they could not give her the job in Utopia. But that they had another one for her in Europe. In the same city where lived The Atomic One.
...
Thursday, 16 April 2009
HNT time - Evie goes Half-Nekkid
Proudly presenting, after hours of fumbling in the bathroom, my very first HNT! (Half Nekkid Thursday).
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Time for TMI Tuesday again
This week is a dance edition:
1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be?
A very custom sort of funny finger dance, interlaced with moments of pure groove and sexy swaying, but then back to the silly finger dance that makes people laugh
2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance?
At the moment, I think Tango: it's all about passion, power, playfulness.
3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on?
I rarely get turned on by guys making moves on dancefloors, usually they suck at it, sorry guys.. Except maybe Michael Jackson doing that crotch-grabbing move, hmm
4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!)
There is one particular person back in Europe who has the capacity to make my heart dance, definitely would like to be with him right now (Gosh, was that a cheesy enough answer??)
5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new?
It would have to be something comical to make them laugh, maybe a chicken dance.
1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be?
A very custom sort of funny finger dance, interlaced with moments of pure groove and sexy swaying, but then back to the silly finger dance that makes people laugh
2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance?
At the moment, I think Tango: it's all about passion, power, playfulness.
3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on?
I rarely get turned on by guys making moves on dancefloors, usually they suck at it, sorry guys.. Except maybe Michael Jackson doing that crotch-grabbing move, hmm
4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!)
There is one particular person back in Europe who has the capacity to make my heart dance, definitely would like to be with him right now (Gosh, was that a cheesy enough answer??)
5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new?
It would have to be something comical to make them laugh, maybe a chicken dance.
Monday, 13 April 2009
Man, I feel like a woman
To celebrate my new found freedom from the boring world of work, I have decided to treat myself.
Not having a stable income for the foreseeable future, it's probably not the right time to buy this:
Not having a stable income for the foreseeable future, it's probably not the right time to buy this:
But I did!
I have never spent so much money on shoes (or even clothes or bags), I have always been cautious and a bit cheap in my approach to shopping. Blame it on me reaching the ripe old age of thirty, but I feel a girl needs to have at least one pair of horrendously expensive designer shoes in her closet, and Christian Louboutin is a perfect way to indulge.
Like Shania Twain used to say: "Man, I feel like a woman"!
Monday, 6 April 2009
To slob or not to slob, that is the question
I have landed back in reality from my cloud of aTomic bliss, and am spending a lot of time focusing on the Here and Now. Well, half of my brain is available for thinking, the other half is still drifting in space a bit.
In the next 2-3 weeks, my future plans will be better known, by then I will have more clarity around where I will be and what I will be doing. The problem is, that while I wait for this Master Plan from Fate to unfold, I am not doing much with my days.
And this is when I get these panic attacks. I picture myself, in a dirty flat, with empty beer bottles and pizza delivery boxes all over the floor, (despite the fact I never drink beer at home and have never ordered pizza), me having turned into an obese slob with the same looks as Chabal. So this sends electric jolts down my spine pushing me to go to the gym on a daily basis in order to use my free time in a useful way, ie building myself the body of a goddess.
Hold on a minute, why is it that these past few posts have all been focused on looks?
Maybe it's time to get a bit more intellectual; am actually preparing an analysis on the latest art house move I saw, it's called "He's just not that into you"..
In the next 2-3 weeks, my future plans will be better known, by then I will have more clarity around where I will be and what I will be doing. The problem is, that while I wait for this Master Plan from Fate to unfold, I am not doing much with my days.
And this is when I get these panic attacks. I picture myself, in a dirty flat, with empty beer bottles and pizza delivery boxes all over the floor, (despite the fact I never drink beer at home and have never ordered pizza), me having turned into an obese slob with the same looks as Chabal. So this sends electric jolts down my spine pushing me to go to the gym on a daily basis in order to use my free time in a useful way, ie building myself the body of a goddess.
Hold on a minute, why is it that these past few posts have all been focused on looks?
Maybe it's time to get a bit more intellectual; am actually preparing an analysis on the latest art house move I saw, it's called "He's just not that into you"..
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Floating through space and time
- Evie?
- ...
- Evie!
- Hmmm. Huh? What?
- Earth calling Evie, can you please come down from your cloud? What are you thinking about?
What I am thinking about? His fingers, his smile, his feet, his voice, his eyes, his ears, his hair, his body, his jokes, his thoughts. Him. Him. Him.
- ...
- Evie!
- Hmmm. Huh? What?
- Earth calling Evie, can you please come down from your cloud? What are you thinking about?
What I am thinking about? His fingers, his smile, his feet, his voice, his eyes, his ears, his hair, his body, his jokes, his thoughts. Him. Him. Him.
I really wish he had turned out to be a male chauvinistic pig instead.
Trying to keep a cool head and take it easy. Trying. Trying. Trying.
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