I have done a David Copperfield and managed to master a full disappearance act. Now, the real reasons of my disappearance appear below but are mixed with some fiction, which is which?
- I have been adbucted by aliens who have selected me as a perfect specimen of the human race (mostly using the Ass Size criteria) and who did lots of chemical tests on me. I have now returned with some supe-powers in my body, including the ability to get confused about men. Oh hang on a minute, I had that skill before already before.
- I have been snowed under by a ton of urgent To Do Lists that needed to be sorted at work and took up all my time.
- I have met the love of my life when out shopping for groceries. He offered me a lift back home in his limo, after saying "hey gorgeous, hop in and let me give you a ride". After a brief hesitation, I decided to go for it, and we are now happily planning our wedding
- The internet company did a bad job when installing my new internet connection which got broken down about 35 minutes after initial installation
- I bumped into my Secret Evil Sister in the street, realised she was trying to take over my life by pretending to be me, and spent the past 3 weeks in court trying to prove I was me, and not her.
- My life got so boring
- I got lucky in a man-pulling-mission in a nightclub and never left my bedroom.
Ooooookaaayyy, that should spread lots of mystery around my life for the time being.